With this, Craftastrophe’s light grows a little brighter, just like Tinkerbell when you clap really hard. It’s the return of Kelley!

*******

I have never, ever, EVER understood the appeal of Hello Kitty.

Ever.

I mean, look at her. Even as a little girl, I didn’t get it when the preppy girls in my class would ohh and ahh over Hello Kitty erasers and pencils and pencil cases and whatever else they could get their mitts on that had that boring white cat on it.

I liked Garfield. Garfield was sarcastic.

I liked Tom, of Tom and Jerry. He had drive, spunk and a mean streak.

Hello Kitty just sits there.

You know what else I don’t get? Fetuses. I didn’t ohh and ahh over any of my pre-half-time ultrasounds. After 20 weeks I noticed my oldest was sucking his thumb and had feet. I was cool with that.

Anyway, you know what I don’t get today?

Hello Kitty Fetus.

WhatThaFack?

Thanks Audrey!
{source}

The crafting is lovely, I’ll give it that. It’s just the subject matter – what IS it? – that gives me a bad case of the heebie-jeebies.

I have recently been traumatized by a bear and I can assure you that this does NOT look like a bear.

Those creepy green human eyeballs, the big red nose straight out of Barnum & Bailey, the scary Crazy Aunt Rita red wig…

Here’s the entire view in case, for some sick reason,  you need the full effect.

It can be yours for only $1200. Act now.

{Source}

Suebob startles easily.

Okay, look. I am as pro-baby rock on with your bad self awesome women who shoot fruit from their nether bits as the next girl. But, dudes. I have my limits.

I HAVE MY LIMITS. These dolls, well these dolls are my limit.

Starts all cute, right? Awwwww, preggo doll getting ready to burst forth a life. Then, well, then there was placenta. See, what happened there was when the placenta, even though it’s just red felt, showed up I heard a loud buzzing and felt a pop. Then I went blind and lost all control of my bladder. So, I am pretty sure that I have suffered a major doll-placenta related stroke.

I went blind before I could even see the snap nipples or to fully comprehend the $130 price tag. Then something started leaking out of my ear at the thought of stuffing that little baby doll back up into the mama doll to relive the birthing experience.

Goodbye, cruel world!

Source

Some things are so perfect they need absolutely no explanation.  Or even mustard.  But some beer wouldn’t hurt.

Is Joseph wearing a slice of olive loaf?

Thanks, Darrel!

{Source}

Elly Lou hopes that all your holidays are celebrated on a bed of sauerkraut.