Craftastrophe » We Wish You a Merry Christmas…and Minimal Therapy

A Surprise from Santa!

suebob — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 05:31:58 +0000

Hey kids, Santa has a surprise for you! Just pull the ribbon to open up and find out what he has…in his lap!

{Source} $4800. Nothing a lifetime of therapy won’t cure.

Merry Christmas, everyone, from your friendly wackjobs here at Craftastrophe. We hope Santa brings you something handmade and not terribly awful.

Not the same, but still fun:

Totally Does Not Look Like Any Yeti I Have Ever Seen

suebob — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:35:27 +0000

The countdown continues with another nativity scene – Yetis this time. Because nothing says “Birth of Jesus” like a large, hairy, Himalaya-dwelling wolf-God-man.
Though after a week of Meerkat Wise Men, Pinto Bean Holy Families, and scary Jazz Hands, I must say nothing surprises me anymore.
{Source} $85 or whatever that is in Tibetan Srang.

Not the same, but still fun:

Hand Me That Nativity

suebob — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:54:26 +0000

So many nativities, so few that are truly creepy. Oh, wait. It’s a hand. It’s a nativity. It’s a HANDTIVITY! Also, somehow way creepy out of proportion to what it is.

{Source} $20. Nightmares about being strangled in your sleep, free.

Not the same, but still fun:

I’ve Bean Thinking About Christmas

suebob — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:10:35 +0000

Nativity made of Pinto Beans. For those chili holidays. Sorry. Could not resist.

{Source} Only $10. About the price of a burrito, chips and a drink.

Not the same, but still fun:

It’s Gonna Be a Cold, Cold Christmas

suebob — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 14:06:06 +0000

Remember those experiments where the psychologist gave rhesus monkeys who were deprived of their mothers a “mother” made of wire, and the poor baby monkeys still clung to the wire mother, looking for comfort?

This “nativity” is for that guy.

{Source} $10. Get one for all the cold, withholding people in your life!

Not the same, but still fun:

We Three Kings with Big Eyes Who Live Underground

suebob — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 02:56:09 +0000

Meerkat Three Kings. Apparently the Meerkat Nativity is a bit of an annual tradition. I love these guys:

Is it blasphemous to imagine the 3 magic kings to be exactly like this – adorable, ground-dwelling mammals?
{Source} $89

Not the same, but still fun:

Have You Been Naughty, or Nice? Both?

suebob — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:40:53 +0000

At last. A gift that everyone wants.

{Source} Priceless.

Not the same, but still fun:

Because People Who Make Fun of Crafts Have Got to Stick Together…not sure why, but we do

suebob — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 06:24:55 +0000

Update: It’s apparently fixed now.

There’s another site that makes fun of crafts. You may have heard of it – it is called Regretsy.

Yes, I know it is a lot more famous than Craftastrophe (but we were here first, so neener neener).
Yes, I know they have a book.
Yes, I know they donate all their proceeds to charity.

WAIT. They may TRY to donate all of their profits to charity, such as buying presents for children at Christmas, but THANK GOODNESS we have PayPal to stop them!

Go read this post. It is enough to make you want to knit something from cat hair, or to make earrings out of squirrel feet. Or something.

If you want to help them out by sending a few emails to PayPal on their behalf – and on behalf of children who will be without toys at Christmas – it’s no skin off my crafts-making-fun-of-nose. Even if they are more popular.

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Gift: For the Ex Who Refuses to Pay Child Support

suebob — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 12:00:18 +0000

I present: The Louse, an original work of art.

{Source} Only $8.00. In Living Color.

Not the same, but still fun:

A bird is a bird is worth two in the bush or something like that.

suebob — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:00:11 +0000

Yeah, I seem to be on a bit of a Christmas binge.

Shit I started decorating the other day thinking it was December.

Damn stores getting me all confused with their decorations up in September, pretty soon they will erect a permanent Christmas tree in our local mall with Easter Bunny, a witch, a flag for Australia Day and an effigy of me and be all fuck it, all the holidays are covered lets go home.

So this year I was thinking it would be SUPER CUTE if MPS bought me a present for each of the 12 days of Christmas.

Like an ipad and a new car and necklace from Tiffany’s.

And I could like get him a card from Etsy.

Seven swans a swimming

{Source}

Six geese a-laying

{Source}

Two Turtle Doves

{Source}

And a partridge in a pear tree.

{Source}

As my dear old grandfather said, “They all looks the same, lovey,” {he had a metric butt tonne of grandkids and often called me Graeme. Ironically we never knew anyone called Graeme}… and it is the thought that counts.

Kelley – who is deeply disturbed by these cards because OMG THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME FAMILY! Let alone genus or species… *rocks wildly in the corner wailing about the future of our children if Etsy sellers don’t know their Columbidae from their gawd damn Anatidae*

Craftastrophe » We Wish You a Merry Christmas…and Minimal Therapy

A Surprise from Santa!

Not the same, but still fun:

Totally Does Not Look Like Any Yeti I Have Ever Seen

Not the same, but still fun:

Hand Me That Nativity

Not the same, but still fun:

I’ve Bean Thinking About Christmas

Not the same, but still fun:

It’s Gonna Be a Cold, Cold Christmas

Not the same, but still fun:

We Three Kings with Big Eyes Who Live Underground

Not the same, but still fun:

Have You Been Naughty, or Nice? Both?

Not the same, but still fun:

Because People Who Make Fun of Crafts Have Got to Stick Together…not sure why, but we do

Not the same, but still fun:

Christmas Gift: For the Ex Who Refuses to Pay Child Support

Not the same, but still fun:

A bird is a bird is worth two in the bush or something like that.

Some more like this one: