This puts a whole new meaning to the phrase “walk all over me”…

At first I thought it was a blow up doll. I mean, we have featured those before.

But it’s not.

It. Is. So. Not.

The pain staking amount of work that was put into this project is truly awe inspiring. The features? The hair? The eyes?

AMAZING.

I’d love to put this in my living room and see the faces of my guests as they turn the corner and see a skin rug staring back at them, mouth a gape.

But I’m pretty sure it would also land me in a padded room after my basement was inspected for a secret well complete with a pulley system and a basket filled with lotions.

It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Now it places the lotion in the basket.

It places the lotion in the basket.

PUT THE F*CKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

*shudder*

Chrissy Conant’s talent is truly amazing. Creepy, but amazing. Go check out her portfolio, especially Chrissy Caviar. Um… WOW.

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Wicker is one of the greatest craftastrophes known to man. Okay, maybe just old style wicker, because some of the new stuff? Cute.

There has been MANY hideous creations from wicker, some we’ve even featured here, and some you may even find at places dedicated to Teh Wicker.

A desk, chair, filing cabinet AND lamp? Seriously?

But I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything quite like this.

Roi d’Espagne by peterderooij on Zooomr

The King of Spain would probably decapitate the person who gave this as a gift.

Or if The King of Spain was the creator then I am truly sorry. Please don’t decapitate me!

If the wicker lamp was not bad enough, those balloon-type thingies are PIG BLADDERS (so says the photo description and I wasn’t able to find contact information to get a hold of the photographer to find out the back story).

OMG PIG BLADDERS!?

Why in Sam Hell would that even be considered a good idea?

Hmmmm, this lamp seems to be missing something *arms crossed, tapping chin*

What would make this complete?

*finger in the air* Ah YES! Pig Bladders randomly placed along the outside in various shapes and sizes! BRILLIANT!

Indeed.

{ source – Peter de Rooij’s Zoomr site, but you should totally check out his blog for some of his brilliant photography! }

Mother’s Day is around the corner people. It’s the day the calendar says you’re supposed to show how grateful you are that some lady sprang you from her loins after waddling around for nine months with shooting pains, nausea, vomiting, cramps and pee stained pants.

Not that I’m bitter or anything because that was AWESOME. I freakin’ LOVE the smell of pee.

For Mother’s Day why don’t you show your gratitude with a trinket box that she can store all her maccaroni jewelry in?

Note to kids: Moms don’t like fake cupcakes. Bring the real deal or no birthday presents, ya hear?

And hold the little troll with the flower, just icing and lots of it; maybe slip some Xanax in it for good measure.

Oh, and forget the ’sugar and spice’ B.S. because we all know you’re just trying to get brownie points to stay up past your bed time.

Mmmmm brownies.

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Of all the items I’ve come across since we started Craftastrophe, I don’t know that I’ve been as concerned for a crafter as I am right now. This individual has actually successfully creeped me right the f*ck out – which was no doubt, the reaction they were hoping to garner.

Yet, I am completely amazed by the amount of detail that has gone into creating this little zombie family.

A shrine to Barbie, complete with a zombie cookie.

Um. Riiiigght.

Padded cell for one please!

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Good Morning lovies! I do hope you slept well last night. No bad dreams to keep you awake?

I had a dreadful sleep, what, with working on getting the baby to Cry It Out, the Preschooler pissing the bed and then wanting to sleep with us – which then resulted in me getting pushed out and TOLD – by the Preschooler – to sleep in the bed in the nursery.

Only to wake up early and be greeted by this treasure as soon as I began my search for Teh Awesome.

I suppose I could be grateful that I came upon it now rather than bedtime tonight.

The look on that dirty baby’s face is freakin’ PRICELESS. I damn near spit coffee all over myself!

These buggers seriously freaked my sh*t out.

That first baby has that whole Gospel Church Hallelujah! thing down pat.

Git down wit yer bad self  Toddlerpede!

Enjoy your day! Hope you don’t run into any toddlerpedes.

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