Are you sick of everyone smiling when you set a bowl of Jello on the dessert table?

Want to see sweet treats ruined by social commentary more often?

Then I’ve got just the thing!

This bleeding squirrel bowl is the perfect way to make all your friends wish they’d just stayed home.

Its creator explains,

“I have transformed this cute and nutty squirrel jello mold into a statement on how cruel we are to our environment. Can be used as an attractive jello stand for pot luck suppers or celebrating holidays at home–always keeping us mindful of the abuses we so callously suffer on the world around us I think a clever use would be to put nuts in the top for a party, or anything you want.”

With the versatility to ruin anything from Jello to nuts, it’s a bargain at $55!  So get to it–plan a party, invite your friends, and then guilt the shit of of them when they go for the almonds!

Take that, jerks!

Thanks for the wine, now here’s some environmental commentary!

That’s what you get for coming over!

Unh!

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Renee doesn’t torture animals, or friends.

Honestly, I think you need a better plastic surgeon if these are what they look like:

I am trying my hardest to picture the target audience for this piece and all I can come up with is gardeners with plastic boobs. Or models with big gardens. Or…oh, I give up.

And I learned early not to stuff my bra. Because the tissue can poke out and it is kind of embarrassing:

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Suebob has some great looking tomatoes.

It’s been a while since I wandered the craft world to find new and exciting things to share so when I sat down this morning I expected to spend at least a little while looking before I came across something truly impressive.  Lo and behold a mere 2 minutes into my search I found this–a ceramic bust of Count Dracula.

Oh, wait–I mean Queen Elizabeth.

Writes creator Amandaoconnorclay, “I was inspired to create this piece after watching Queen Elizabeth I movies and reading historical fiction based on her amazing life. I wanted to honor such a brave woman and depict how she reinvented herself as ‘The Virgin Queen’.”

I get that, and it’s a nice sentiment, but when I look at this I feel like she’s going to eat me.  She’s got the Freddy Kruger melty face thing going on and those cold dead eyes that promise to haunt my dreams, and is anything more horrific than a lime green frilled collar?

$350 may be a steal for a work of art, but I can have nightmares for free.

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Renee loves visitors.

A good, beautiful lamp is multi-purpose. When you’re entertaining friends, it subtly highlights the scene, their smiles, the glasses (and bottles *ahem*) of wine on the table. You’re kicked back in a chair, your feet on an ottoman, and a good lamp illuminates the words on the book just enough so you’re not straining your eyes, but not enough where you’re squinting and feel like you’re in a mechanic’s garage at nighttime. Lights brightens a room, adds a glow to your children’s faces (or the children of your friends, children who will be leaving soon). It brightens everything just so. A lamp, some will say (not really) is the light of life indoors. And media like to say we’re all fat, so it follows that we’re always indoors.

I’m not sure who said it (Ed. – nobody), but a penis also illuminates life. It subtly highlights the scene, the smiles on your friends’ and children’s faces, glasses of wine, a good book. And so it follows that a penis lamp is a sort of nirvana for interior design.

For only $8,000 this penis lamp can be yours. And while you may balk at that price, think of the Christmas dinners you’ll host, your kid’s sleepover parties. For $8,000 you can be the talk of the town and be a part of those children’s nightmares.

For $8,000 you can illuminate the lives of everyone you know. Even if you don’t currently have a penis, you can make certain your friends have penis envy. So, really? $8,000 is cheap.

Quoth Brick Tamland, in “Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy,”I love lamp.” Well, if that is really true, I think his head [etc.] would explode. [PUN!]

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. . .
Anastacia “Jurgen Nation” Campbell’s lamp life is none of your business.

You can follow her on Twitter here.

^{In all seriousness, while not my taste at all, this lamp has incredible detail and must have taken a ton of skill. I poke fun only at the fact that it is a PENIS lamp, but the quality is clearly superior and the artist has some serious talent.}

Just in time for Easter, a cake that takes the symbols of the season to a disturbing new level.

A lamb cake. A cake that is meant to be decapitated. And then it bleeds jam.

Happy Easter, kids!

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Suebob does not think desserts should scare the children.