Craftastrophe » This Centerpiece Might Make Your Guests Coil in Fear

Washed in the blood of this cake

suebob — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:00:21 +0000

Just in time for Easter, a cake that takes the symbols of the season to a disturbing new level.

A lamb cake. A cake that is meant to be decapitated. And then it bleeds jam.

Happy Easter, kids!

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Suebob does not think desserts should scare the children.

Not the same, but still fun:

Teapot Heaven is in my grandma’s basement. I’ve seen it.

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:44:17 +0000

Where once fashionable teapots go to die…

Thanks Danielle!

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Not the same, but still fun:

What they don’t teach you in Biology class

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:10:30 +0000

It’s a dino-sword-’ohorsea-boom.

No. Really. WTF is this supposed to be?

The piece is composed of separately slipcast pieces, assembled to what you see here. some were found molds, others were hand made: the hand grenate [sic] pin,brain,sailfish and shells were hand made, the rest (woman, cowboy legs,dinosaur, horse head, were commercial molds.

I don’t suppose pulling the pin will blow the whole thing up?

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Not the same, but still fun:

Monet Inspired?

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:59:18 +0000

** Have you entered our fabulous giveaway for a 75 dollar gift certificate to Eden Fantasys? Time’s running out!**

:::

When I think Monet, I think unique, colourful, beauty, peaceful – and most of all – ART.

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I’m sorry to say, this item? Shows NONE of those attributes.

I’m curious to know what Monet would think of this creation inspired by his work.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Whatever you do, do NOT touch the good silver

sam {temptingmama} — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:20:42 +0000

“She never uses this one. I bet she won’t even notice it’s gone… This is going to be so awesome! She’s going to love it. This and the cutlery from the china cabinet? She hasn’t used that in forever! So amazing. I’m brilliant!”

:::

“Honey! Have you seen my tea pot? The Jones’ are going to be here soon! I need the good tea pot. I can’t serve Betty tea is this old thing. I’ll be the talk of the euchre club. – Speaking of the tea pot, all my cutlery is gone too!”

“Nope, sweetie! Haven’t seen them.”

*whispers* Ah crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

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Some more like this one:

I’m fat enough to be wall to wall carpeting…

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:31:27 +0000

This puts a whole new meaning to the phrase “walk all over me”…

At first I thought it was a blow up doll. I mean, we have featured those before.

But it’s not.

It. Is. So. Not.

The pain staking amount of work that was put into this project is truly awe inspiring. The features? The hair? The eyes?

AMAZING.

I’d love to put this in my living room and see the faces of my guests as they turn the corner and see a skin rug staring back at them, mouth a gape.

But I’m pretty sure it would also land me in a padded room after my basement was inspected for a secret well complete with a pulley system and a basket filled with lotions.

It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Now it places the lotion in the basket.

It places the lotion in the basket.

PUT THE F*CKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

*shudder*

Chrissy Conant’s talent is truly amazing. Creepy, but amazing. Go check out her portfolio, especially Chrissy Caviar. Um… WOW.

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Some more like this one:

Um. All I Can Say is – PIG BLADDER!

sam {temptingmama} — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:45:20 +0000

Wicker is one of the greatest craftastrophes known to man. Okay, maybe just old style wicker, because some of the new stuff? Cute.

There has been MANY hideous creations from wicker, some we’ve even featured here, and some you may even find at places dedicated to Teh Wicker.

A desk, chair, filing cabinet AND lamp? Seriously?

But I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything quite like this.

Roi d’Espagne by peterderooij on Zooomr

The King of Spain would probably decapitate the person who gave this as a gift.

Or if The King of Spain was the creator then I am truly sorry. Please don’t decapitate me!

If the wicker lamp was not bad enough, those balloon-type thingies are PIG BLADDERS (so says the photo description and I wasn’t able to find contact information to get a hold of the photographer to find out the back story).

OMG PIG BLADDERS!?

Why in Sam Hell would that even be considered a good idea?

Hmmmm, this lamp seems to be missing something *arms crossed, tapping chin*

What would make this complete?

*finger in the air* Ah YES! Pig Bladders randomly placed along the outside in various shapes and sizes! BRILLIANT!

Indeed.

{ source – Peter de Rooij’s Zoomr site, but you should totally check out his blog for some of his brilliant photography! }

Some more like this one:

Show Her Some Love This Mother’s Day

sam {temptingmama} — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:29:30 +0000

Mother’s Day is around the corner people. It’s the day the calendar says you’re supposed to show how grateful you are that some lady sprang you from her loins after waddling around for nine months with shooting pains, nausea, vomiting, cramps and pee stained pants.

Not that I’m bitter or anything because that was AWESOME. I freakin’ LOVE the smell of pee.

For Mother’s Day why don’t you show your gratitude with a trinket box that she can store all her maccaroni jewelry in?

Note to kids: Moms don’t like fake cupcakes. Bring the real deal or no birthday presents, ya hear?

And hold the little troll with the flower, just icing and lots of it; maybe slip some Xanax in it for good measure.

Oh, and forget the ’sugar and spice’ B.S. because we all know you’re just trying to get brownie points to stay up past your bed time.

Mmmmm brownies.

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Not the same, but still fun:

Mah Brainz, Theyz Been Eatten!

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:18:09 +0000

Of all the items I’ve come across since we started Craftastrophe, I don’t know that I’ve been as concerned for a crafter as I am right now. This individual has actually successfully creeped me right the f*ck out – which was no doubt, the reaction they were hoping to garner.

Yet, I am completely amazed by the amount of detail that has gone into creating this little zombie family.

A shrine to Barbie, complete with a zombie cookie.

Um. Riiiigght.

Padded cell for one please!

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Some more like this one:

What Nightmares Are Made Of

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:19:10 +0000

Good Morning lovies! I do hope you slept well last night. No bad dreams to keep you awake?

I had a dreadful sleep, what, with working on getting the baby to Cry It Out, the Preschooler pissing the bed and then wanting to sleep with us – which then resulted in me getting pushed out and TOLD – by the Preschooler – to sleep in the bed in the nursery.

Only to wake up early and be greeted by this treasure as soon as I began my search for Teh Awesome.

I suppose I could be grateful that I came upon it now rather than bedtime tonight.

The look on that dirty baby’s face is freakin’ PRICELESS. I damn near spit coffee all over myself!

These buggers seriously freaked my sh*t out.

That first baby has that whole Gospel Church Hallelujah! thing down pat.

Git down wit yer bad self Toddlerpede!

Enjoy your day! Hope you don’t run into any toddlerpedes.

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