Craftastrophe » Celebrities Give Me Hives

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

suebob — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:00:26 +0000

A reminder from your friends at Craftastrophe – please don’t drink too much green beer today, or you’ll end up looking like this:

Or you may make a drunken mistake, get online and end up spending $175 on something like this:

Why, yes, that IS the Conan O’Brien dollhouse miniature leprechaun you had always wanted! It must be the luck of the Irish.

{Source} Jerry the (hungover) leprechaun

{Source} Conan O’Leprechaun

Suebob does not look good in green.

Not the same, but still fun:

You Bedazzled WHAT?

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:42:05 +0000

Colour me bewildered. Jennifer Love Hewitt did what to her what?

That’s right, JLH vagazzled her va-jay-jay. <– and those words are not my own, because I NEVER say va-jay-jay, ever ever ever. No, Miss Disco Ball in Her Panties said those very words in an interview with George Lopez.

I have no words.

Some more like this one:

#jerseyshore is the best show on the planet

sam {temptingmama} — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:53:54 +0000

From the listing:

I’m read for sleeping over, for romantic dinners, for looking after your pet cat when you go down to your parents place for the weekend. I’m ready to be your one and only lover!

Fan of Jersey Shore? If not, too bad because I was totally going to send you one of these cards for Christmas.

Gawd, I love me some guidos and guidettes. (Don’t be a hater, that’s what those crazy kids call themselves.)

{source}

Some more like this one:

Michael Jackson: Can We Just Let Him Die Already?

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:00:28 +0000

Okay crafters. He’s gone. Yes, he was a legend, whether you liked him or not, he was indeed a legend. A legend who could never explain away sleepovers with children, but that’s neither here nor there at this point.

The last thing I’d want to buy is a craft to remember him by. Namely:

The Michael Jackson Beaded Amulet Necklace. It’s actually pretty realistic.

MOAR THIS WAY…

Rabbits as Rock Stars- Michael Jackson No. 4.

Riiiight.

Michael Jackson Thriller Zombie Hat. Yeah I don’t see the relevance either.

and lastly, the Michael Jackson painted tennis ball. Not to be confused with the dude from the Soul Glo commercials.

Thanks Jude!

{source. source, source and source}

Not the same, but still fun:

The Dude

sam {temptingmama} — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:24:33 +0000

Just in time for Christmas! Your very own Andy Warhol-ish-type-print of The Dude Jesus.

I don’t care where it goes, this portrait of The Dude Jesus will be mine. Oh. It. Will. Be. Mine.

Do you think Jesus had shades like those? Because if he didn’t he so should have. I bet he would have looked smokin’ hot in some quality sunglasses.

I think I just called Jesus hot.

And some of you may be upset that I was mocking The Lord, but really – maybe I’m talking about some dude (not The Dude) named Jesus (hay-zeus) and then it was YOU who made the assumption that I meant Jesus – so who’s the ass now?! Huh?

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Oh Tiger…

sam {temptingmama} — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:33:20 +0000

Dear Mr. Woods,

Next time? Don’t come home wearing her lipstick. Then The Mrs. won’t have to chase you down trying to smash your head in with your own golf club free you from your smashed car.

Love, Me.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Two Thumbs..

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:30:57 +0000

Who has two thumbs and a shitty shirt?

This girl.

Well, not really this girl, because dude? Did you see that shirt? Why the brass knuckles? It’s like the motherfuckin’ A Team all over again.

I pity da foo.

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Profess your love for Edward Cullen. Everyone’s doing it.

sam {temptingmama} — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:37:31 +0000

I am Team Psycho-stalker-pervert-old-man-vampire-cold-as-ice-Edward lover while Karen is all about the fuzzy warm drooling hound werewolf Jacob.

As much as we love the books and are braving the masses on the pre-release night of New Moon, we are on opposite teams when it comes to vampire and werewolf hotness.

I do believe we are on the same team when it comes to creep-tastic wall decals…

which look like they’ve been written in blood…

profess their longing for a long dead teenage boy who could (**SPOILER**) rip you apart with one shot of his Man Spirit (even though, HELLO! He’s dead. I mean, come on! He can make Man Spirit still? and babies? Pffft) …

isn’t that kinda like selling your soul to the devil or something?!

P.S. Honey, you best be careful. You are thisclose to showing Edward your lady bits.

Because really? Who doesn’t want a gigantor head of an angst ridden prima donna actor who will now forever carry the persona of a glittery vampire?

{source}

Not the same, but still fun:

Poptastrophe: Josh Duhamel Cheats On Fergie With Stripper

Karen Sugarpants — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:00:29 +0000

Welcome to the Weekly Edition of Poptastrophe. Our friends over at MamaPop are made of win, and they have their fair share of catastrophes over in the celebrity circus arena. Together we have decided to form :

The Poptastrophe Alliance.

This is good for you – you get the worst of celebrities, served to you on a platter, every Friday.

Remember the good ‘ol days when the National Enquirer used to focus on crop circles and Jesus shaped french toast? Now – after a string of verified breaking stories – when they report, people listen. (Maybe you should take a second look at your breakfast after all.)

So when I read that the latest in philandering douche canoes was none other than His Royal Hotness Josh Duhamel…I sort of believe it. It does have the ring of truth. Especially since the stripper passed a polygraph.

Not the same, but still fun:

Rad Tights.

Karen Sugarpants — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:13:26 +0000

Kimmy Gibbler called. She wants her tights back.

{source}