Craftastrophe » Animals May Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Craftastrophe

One step beyond Portlandia

suebob — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 14:47:05 +0000

You’ve seen the genius of Portlandia’s “Put a Bird on It,” haven’t you? It’s a must for all crafty types:

If you can’t bring yourself to put a WHOLE bird on it, settle for the next best thing: bird parts!

{Source} $40 and a date with a biker dude

These are something I did not know existed, but now I NEED. My birthday is coming up. Just saying.

{Source} $53.40 because just $53 would not be enough

Pretty much perfect for every occasion including Gay Pride.

{Source} $89 and the convenience of never having to have your friends call to ask if you’re on the way back from the beer tent yet because they will be able to see you from anywhere.

Not the same, but still fun:

Have you ever SEEN a rabbit?

suebob — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 21:48:45 +0000

It doesn’t look that bad from afar. But up close…it gives me the shudders. Those damaged-looking nipplish eyes. The lack of color. This is one for my nightmares.

{Source} Around $29 US and a box of Ambien

Not the same, but still fun:

No Caffeine After 4 pm

suebob — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 13:05:07 +0000

This little squirrel just looks so panicked and weary. He’s printed on a baby onesie. It’s like the artist wanted to say: This is adulthood, children. Beware.

{Source} $16 and a case of Red Bull

Not the same, but still fun:

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

suebob — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:03:52 +0000

It’s reader participation time! First, guess what these are:

WRONG!

We have hear 4 tanned gator tongues. These make a very good craft item. I have a friend that makes some very good wallets, bags, knife sheaths and other crafts from gator tongues. They are not dyed and their size is 9″ long and they are 3″—6″ wide. One has a hole in it. These are thick leather and a little stiff but pliable

Next reader participation: What craft item should be made from these?
{Source} $32.50 – cheap compared to other, lower-quality alligator tongues out there!

Not the same, but still fun:

Something to Wear With Your Mouse-Head Cameo

suebob — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:54:35 +0000

Schmutzie found this. Wanna guess?

That right there, my friends, is probably the one and only brooch made of bobcat toe bones you’ll see all day! Wear it with your Mouse Head Cameo!

I’m starting to think of crafting myself. My first stop is going to be the dumpsters behind the steak house. I’m sure I can get some materials there!
{Source} Only $9.50. I am so tempted.

Not the same, but still fun:

Caution: Do Not Wear to the PETA Meeting. Or the PTA meeting.

suebob — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:25:25 +0000

Ah, a precious cameo – the most classic and ladylike of all jewelry:

Until you add a dead mouse head, anyway.
{Source} $125 worth of scaring the snot out of your mother-in-law

Not the same, but still fun:

Like Sticking Your Hand Up Pepe Le Pew’s Butt

suebob — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:01:35 +0000

Skunk Fur Mittens:

For those days when you want to be both warm AND politically incorrect. Look out for PETA paint bombs, y’all.
{Source} $125 worth of smelly carcass

Not the same, but still fun:

Lose the Swiffer

suebob — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:00:18 +0000

Who needs a Swiffer duster when you can just whip your hair back and forth…and your earrings while you’re at it.

{Source} $33 worth of Klassy

Not the same, but still fun:

The Eyes Follow You All Around the Room

suebob — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:27:16 +0000

Forget “When I am an Old Lady I Shall Wear Purple.”

When I am an old lady (which will be in about 20 minutes from now) I shall wear a felted kitty brooch.

{Source} $26.99 worth of scary old lady shit

Not the same, but still fun:

George W. Bush Predicted This

suebob — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 14:00:43 +0000

George W. Bush warned us against Animal-Human Hybrids in the State of the Union.

{Source} $5496 worth of freaky