You might as well wear the Dog Eye Patch from yesterday. On both eyes.

These crystal sunglasses are to die for.No u can not see out of them.They are prefect for lying on the beach or wearing on top of your head as hairwear.

They’re great sunglasses IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE.
{Source} 40 pointless dollars

I’ll admit I love dear one-eyed dogs. Or three-legged dogs. Or old white-muzzled dogs gimping along on stiff legs. Ok, I’m a sucker for dogs.

The idea of an eye patch for a one-eyed dog is kinda cute. An empty eye socket can look kind of scary, and a little cover…ok, I can see it. But what I can’t see (no pun intended) is an eye patch with an EYE embroidered on it. A human eye. With fake eyelashes:

And of course no human-eyed dog eye patch collection would be complete without a holiday version”

{Source} Just $20 creepy the-eyes-are-following-me dollars.

Thanks to the people over at Hi-Fructose online art magazine I can just sit here with my feet up and sip my coffee. Because OMG lookie here.

WARNING: (Per intrepid reader Jessica) This site contains pictures that are so odd and disturbing in a really weird (not violent or graphic but WEIRD) that you may never sleep again.

OK, I won’t be sitting with my feet up. I’ll be washing my eyes out. With Pine-Sol*.

*PineSol should not ever be put in your eyes. The claim that I would be putting Pine-Sol in my is a bit of hyperbolic nonsense and a lame attempt at humor. Neither the management or staff of Craftastrophe or its advertisers would ever recommend the administration of caustic chemicals to the eyes, the skin, or other body parts. Your mom would say “You only get one set of eyes, so be careful.”

I know it marks me as a communist, socialist, anti-American but I have to admit I HATE FOOTBALL. The American kind, not the real kind with skinny cute guys running like gazelles up and down the pitch. So when I saw all these baby football togs, I was all squinchy-faced with snark, making up evil captions in my head.

Oh, look at little Knut Rockne, ready to go get his first concussion!

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Can you believe his knees are ALREADY wrecked? Sad, I know.

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Have you ever noticed that the crappier the place is, the more they are into college football? No?

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But then…then there was this. Come on, you freaks. Let junior at least exit the womb before you start imposing your choice of sports on him.

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And now a word from our sponsors about real football:

In case you haven’t been feeling trashy enough lately.

The best part? Even the mannequin has tats. Because life is not possible without tats.
{Source} Only $15 slightly sweaty one dollar bills