New Years Resolution #1: Do not wear pants that look like this.

Well, that was easy.
{Source} $65. Clown makeup extra.

So many things I don’t understand. Like, doesn’t this sort of defeat the purpose of a phone case? It makes your phone HARDER to use and would make it fall off tables if you set it down wrong…oh, and it is ugly as hell (it is supposed to be a pig. Yeah, whatever).

{Source} $99 clams.

It’s a catnip toy. Imagine the surprised expressions on the faces of your Bible Study group when your Siamese, Mittens, comes out with this in his mouth.

{Source} $12.00 worth of entertainment

This would be bad if it were a bustier. It would be bad if it were a purse. Voila! It’s a bustier purse.

{Source} Only $10.

To YOU it may be a “statement necklace.” To me, it’s something that is going to get caught in a whirring gear, drag me into the machine, and snap my neck, leaving me dead, tragically young, and beautiful. Well, one out of three, anyway.

Messy green necklace

Rubber jewelry is light weight, versatile and fun to wear. This piece combines black and purple buttons with seaweed green rubber to create a dramatic statement.

So, dear readers – do tell – what IS the statement this necklace is making?

{Source} Marked down from $55 to $49.50 for the thrifty