Yep. I’ve said that before. That awesome (sarcasm) uterine massage after having a baby? Yep, that did it.
Uterus Pinata was a new one though.
I adore that the creator is self aware – she knows it’s a little strange – Hell she links to Regretsy in her listing even.
I was a touch disturbed by this mental image:
The Uteriñata is excellent fun for all ages, even toddlers will enjoy the grab-the-string-and-pull action!
I immediately pictured my kid yanking out tampons or whatever and threw up in my mouth a little.
My bigger concern, of course, was just what candy would be most appropriate for inserting into a Uterus Pinata? I was thinking some Werther’s Originals because 1. they look like little cervixes (cervixi? cervipedes?) and 2. no one eats those things anyway.
I told my boyfriend about my dilemma – because candy stuffed uterus is totally normal conversation around here and his IMMEDIATE response was, “Oh totally those gummi lighthouses that really look like penises (penii? penipedes?)
Which is why I love that sick sumbitch.
What candy would you stick in a Uterus Pinata?
February 9th, 2011 at 4:04 pm
I am so touched that you actually utlized the take-away from my conference session. Sure, it was to describe candy genitalia, but we all have to start somewhere, right? Penipedes are just full of win.
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VDog (1 comments.) Reply:
February 10th, 2011 at 1:03 am
HAHAHHAHA
February 9th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Eduardo Retardo, Jenn. Jenn said: RT @craftastrophe My Uterus Feels Like A Punching Bag: http://bit.ly/i0b60v <– for @EduardoRetardo's baby shower! [...]
February 10th, 2011 at 8:18 am
I was like, oh look, gun gummies.
I am seriously in need of coffee.
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February 10th, 2011 at 11:26 am
On the listing, the artist says, “Personally, I think beating a uterine effigy with a stick is a little… violent, so I made the Uteriñata to include ribbons at the bottom. Only one of the ribbons is attached to the cervix, all the others pull right out. The lucky ribbon pulls the cervix off and candy comes out!” Umm…actually, beating a uterine effigy with a stick is EXACTLY what I want to do every month when I get cramps. I can’t be the only one that wants a years supply of these… and a really heavy baseball bat. Seriously–birthday, please?
February 13th, 2011 at 7:24 am
Somebody was selling little candy (marzipan? fondue?)quite lifelike newborns I think on ebay a while ago–seems like a match made in um….er…someone’s truly perverted imagination?
Maybe preschools could put it together as the lesson about where babies come from….
Ack! 4am & I’ve been up for 23 hours–must be bedtime!
February 13th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Oh the right way to stuff this is totally to make it for your daughter’s red tent party. Stuff it with a mixture of foetus cookies, condoms, tampons and red licqourice laces. For a more upmarket party, include little individually wrapped bullet vibes so all the party guests can take home a unique party favour!
February 14th, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Um, Swedish Fish? *snicker*
February 16th, 2011 at 4:10 pm
My first thought was, “Aren’t those penises a bit small?”
Then I realized, shouldn’t they be going in, not dropping out?
Well, I guess being so small, they would drop out…
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