For some reason, this makes me want to run out and get a pedicure. And a wax. I should take girlfriend here with me.

This bombshell is Helga! She’s a Saggitarius and her hobbies include candle making and UFC style cage fighting. Her turn-ons include men with a slight mushroomy scent and all forms of severe rashes………and yes, she is single!

Single? I can’t imagine why.

{source}

Kim wonders what the hell a mushroom smells like.

Listed under “Valentine’s Sale,” a painting called “The Binding of Isaac”

This piece captures the affect of a child -who would be the “sacrificial lamb”.
As Isaac connects to us in this moment, he gazes into your soul with a single tear streaming from his eyes.
Here is not Abraham’s challenge to express the greatest love by obediently following the will of G-d rather than cling to his love for a son.
Instead you witness the surrender of the one who’s was not to act, but be acted upon.

Because nothing says romance like the blood sacrifice of a child. I can hear it now “Honey, you shouldn’t have!”

I suggest sticking to roses and chocolates. Trust me on this one.

{Source}

Suebob is easily frightened by religion.

How’s your nude body image?  Feel like you could use a reminder to celebrate diversity in beauty?  Want to excite your self esteem?  Then I’ve got just the thing!

Exotic Soft Sculpture and cloth dolls are designed to arouse positive nude body image, excite high self-esteem and celebrate diversity in beauty.

How, you ask?  Obviously just by being around you!  Sit your cloth love doll on a folding stool in your house and admire her long skinny freak legs and short pointy hands!  Check out her awesome lumpy body and shiny pillow lips!  Snap at her signature sense of style and think, “Mmm hmm, you GO girl!”  You’ll be feeling better about yourself in no time, I promise!

But positive nude body image through creepy doll emulation doesn’t come cheap.  This diva will run you a cool $3,500–but trust me, she’s worth it.  Unh hunh

One diva not enough?  Don’t worry, she’s got friends!

(more…)

I’ve decided I’m in the wrong business. I get up and go to work everyday so I can have health insurance, a 401K and stock options when all I really need to do is stick some ugly craft together, get featured here and then live in artist infamy forever.

I want to be just like this artist ……

“Poor Juliette. She’s stuck her head in a light socket and this is the result. Some girls just never learn.”

REALLY? Had to be written by a man.

{source}

But on the plus side, she’d make a great gumdrop holder.

Kim is off to the junkyard.

At last! Someone on etsy who is brave enough to admit that their creepy art  is actually for the purposes of evil. It certainly LOOKS evil:

And here’s the description:

Although completely harmless within the home, these horrible abominations should never be buried in the ground. Unless of course you don’t like your neighbors, go ahead and watch the seeds of evil bloom. Once buried in the ground the property owners will be burdened with tragedy and despair. Even given its potential for harm, this little guy is great to snuggle up to on a rainy day. Hang him on a wall, throw him in a corner, or use as a center piece, this demon spawn goes great with any décor. 4 X 7.5 inches.

That makes me feel all Church Lady-ish for some reason. Could it be…Satan?

{Source}

Suebob only practices white magic, like turning rotten bananas into really awesome quick breads.