You flip through Etsy, looking for beautiful handmade things and you find crap. CRAP. Sometimes crap so crappy that you wouldn’t dishonor crap by calling it crap. Sometimes the crap is so craptacular, that you hang your head in dismay.

Then you find something like this:

Simple, adorable, ingenious and reasonably priced. Something you COULD make, but didn’t think of. Something that you could reasonably wear in public. Something cute. Then low and behold, faith is restored. Buy these, they are rad.

Source

If you hadn’t already noticed, Halloween is a perfect storm of costume and decoration Craftastrophicness.  There are awful outfits, terrifying centerpieces, taxidermied wildlife, candy treat gross outs and the unforgettable horrifying dolls.

Like this one!

You know how good horror movies are scary because they have great special effects, nuanced performances, and enough creepy music to make you truly anxious straight through to the climax?

This doll is not like those movies.

This doll is like the other kind of horror movies, the kind that are scary only because they’re so bad, so poorly made, that they make you wonder about the aggregate level of sanity of the people responsible for making them.

It’s almost enough to send you into an existential conundrum, if not for the frosted edges.

{source}

Renee no longer plays with dolls.

Halloween-time is the time to search “screaming” on Etsy:

All Tied Up

I know how it is to be tied up in many aspects of life. This piece gives a comforting feeling, that its with you all tied up with you.

{Source}

Cat Rocketship is an artist, who also makes Halloweeny things.

Hey Ma!  MA! Come see this sweater I made!  Can you put it on for me so I can git pictures of it?  I wanna put it on the internet and sell it.

You can do that?

Shore you can Ma.  Here!  Put your arm through here and now your other arm…okay, stand up straight and I’ll git a picture of the back.

Okay.

Stand up straight Ma.

I am.

Oh ok, that’s okay.  Thank I got it Ma. Now stand still.  I wanna git a picture of the large side pocket.  It’s a FEEchure I built into the sweater.  Hold still, Ma.

Wow honey, your lil chillens could ride around in that pocket!  It’s HUUUUGE!

I know Ma. I made it that way on purpose.  Then girls can put their pocketbook, their lipstick, their feminary products….

Great idear, Sugar! Hell, I could put mah whiskey in thar!

Okay now listen Ma.  Look at me.  Put your arms out like this is the best sweater you’re ever owned, okay?

What? You’re giving me this sweater! Why thank you darlin’!  It’s so handy and beeeeautiful all in one…

MA! I am sellin’ the sweater on the internets.  Now hold still.  You’re proud of me, right?

Shore am, dollface. I love you thiiiiis much!

{source}

I’m not sure this really counts as a Craftastrophe as the artistry is really quite impressive.  Yet I feel the need to include it because it scares the piddle out of me.  It’s all about the eyes.

And it’s not just HER eyes that frighten me – those soul-sucking, kitten-stomping, unicorn-disemboweling eyes.  No, I’m equally disturbed by the bugged-out eye of the dog thing in front of her.  Clearly she’s in the process of french braiding the innards of that poor animal while deciding if she should dip them into sea salt, lemon juice, or both.

Now I’ll never be able to think about Pippi Longstocking without wondering how many bodies she has rotting underneath the floorboards of her Villa Villekulla.

{Source}

Elly Lou is rapidly developing a fear of redheads.