Look kids, the zombie thing has officially gone too far.  I like daydreaming about the undead as much as the next gal, but those dreams are never wet dreams.  But obviously there’s someone out there who dreams of riding a zombie like the pony they never had.  Why else would they bother to hand paint zombie dildos?

Zombi: All it wants is your warm human flesh. A bloated, rotting, pustulant abomination. Choose from a variety of festering colours.

Oh well, when you put it that way I can hardly wait to shove a rod of rotting, decaying flesh into my…dresser drawer.

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Thanks, Chrystally!

Elly Lou thinks there are some things that just shouldn’t be reanimated.

Fall will soon be here, bringing cooler weather which leads to me wrapping up on the couch with a big mug of cafe au lait and a football game. And this year, my very own made to order penis. Penis pillow that is. The secrets my granny and her basket of string kept from me are no more…..

And if the tallywacker isn’t your cup of tea? (heh) Boobies !

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Kim is off to find the yardstick.

I’m beginning to think you people are making this shit to purposefully get on Craftastrophe.  This is worse than Katy Perry’s whipped cream bra.

Okay, no it isn’t.  But it’s still really fucking weird.

Do you think this is what Courtney Love had in mind when she sang, “I am…Doll Parts…”?

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Renee is at a loss for words.

Okay, so this is just a painting with a faux-crackle veneer of a kiss. But it’s a weird kiss.

So not a total craftastrophe, right? We agree. But what makes it is the description:

This is one of my best paintings.
This painting was at “Foreplay” art show in Chelsea New York at Monkdogs Urban Art Gallery 2006. As you know it is not easy to win any kind of fine art competition to be a part of the international show in Chelsea.

And the more I look at it, the more I wonder if the painter doesn’t think that’s how you french.

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Cat Rocketship is an artzilla from the Midwest.

I don’t think Mattel is planning to mass-produce these beauties anytime soon, but you never know…

I know!  Finally you can turn your favorite doll into a dom!  Little girls aren’t into princesses anymore.  They want to rule the world with a latex-clad fist.  Help your little angel evolve into an empowered woman by adding a wee whip, riding crop and a flogger to her collection of Barbie accessories.

Now with past Barbie accouterments, I’ve always said, “Screw the doll, I need more tiny plastic shoes.”  Sadly, I think the first half of that statement may actually be the point here.  Someone is far too enamored of the blond, molded bombshell.

Oh Barbie, I warned you no good could come of that boob job.

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Elly Lou thinks these might look nice on Smurfette, though.