If I suddenly decided that I wanted a bikini made out of fur, beaver wouldn’t even be in the top ten list of animals whose fur I’d want.
I could understand maybe cheetah, or leopard, or zebra. Giraffes are cool, and tigers, snow leopards, white tigers, black panthers, even alligator or some sort of shiny snake would be alright. But beaver?
On my beaver?
And yet somehow, this exists:
The new multicolor sheared beaver fur bikini (for women)
In the case that I did for some reason (maybe because all the animals in my top ten are also on the Endangered Species list…) decide that my fur bikini should be made out of beaver (as my friend Stephanie pointed out, it’d probably swim well…) I seriously doubt I’d choose this particular incarnation.
Since when do beavers come in pink and yellow?
Why is the bikini tied together with burgundy yarn?
And are you sure this wasn’t made for a transvestite? Because that bottom looks like it’s got a whole heck of a lot of room up front.
This looks like a haphazardly assembled costume for some high school TV media short film called something like “Amazon Cavewomen Go Bananas.” It looks like a rejected wardrobe choice from Encino Man. It looks like something even this guy wouldn’t wear.
Also, please take a second to consider that nowhere in the listing for this item is there a picture of the back side, which leads me to the unfortunate conclusion that it’s *probably* a string thong (although when you’re only paying $219 for something that allegedly retails for “$700 – minimum” you should probably expect to have your ass hanging in the wind).
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Renee misses the days of the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.
June 29th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by sam {temptingmama}, craftastrophe. craftastrophe said: New Craftastrophe! Your Beaver Is Showing.: If I suddenly decided that I wanted a bikini made out of fur, … http://bit.ly/aHGKWn [...]
June 29th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Oh God. When I was a college freshman, my texture project in 3-D design was the fur bathing suit. It was a joke that was supposed to make people cringe. I was inspired by Meret Oppenheim’s Object (the Fur Teacup).
Fanboy Wife´s last post ..DC Pajama Pants
June 30th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
This is pretty close to a merkin, which I wrote about in a 2005 Playgirl article. Not much use today for the merkin, but maybe it’s making a comeback. I imagine the backside of this “puppy” is a flat, leathery, oblong tail. Have fun with that.
Fragrant Liar´s last post ..Wee Wisdom
July 2nd, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I wanna see beaver teeth SOMEWHERE on this baby, STAT!
July 3rd, 2010 at 11:28 pm
It says the seller has a 100 per cent satisfaction rating. I’m really worried about the sag factor of it all
Nat´s last post ..In all thy sons and daughters command