Sick of anatomy text books and anatomically correct plastic body parts? Then look no further! Motherhendoula is here to save the day with this incredibly life-like kntit placenta!
Look, everyone knows that the best way to get a real feel for the majesty of childbirth (or any science) is through the medium of knitting. Pre-med programs have had crochet based lab sections for years, and all the most prestigious residencies feature knitted doll surgery rooms. If you’re considering a career in medicine you’d better be sure you’ve got the hang of continental knitting or you’re going to have a difficult first year! Throwing is so high school.
Not only is this knitted placenta a valuable contribution to the scientific community, it’s “Hand knit from 100% acrylic yarn, this placenta features a ‘rough side’ made from suede yarn, and a ‘smooth side’ made from Sateen finish yarn. The umbilical cord clearly shows the arteries and one vein extending to the ‘baby.’ Made to order, takes about two weeks to deliver.”
I’ll take 2 weeks over 9 months any day (eey-oh!)! And besides, who wants something as complicated as this?
All that realism looks so confusing! And you can’t even use is as a pillow or a night time cuddle buddy! I bet if you threw this placenta at someone, it would hurt when it hit them! Cauliflower hoodads and whatnots? No thanks!
When I think of pushing a baby out of one of my smallest orifices I have one thought and one thought alone: give me a medical professional educated primarily in pink and burgundy acrylic, or give me death!
My daughter was at a friends house. A house that is next door to a field. A field that is full of mouses.
Or meece. Or meeces. Or mice.
Anyway, long story short she stepped on a dead one. And dead one go pop.
And ooooooooooze between the toes.
After I finished vomiting up my lunch, and then barfing all over again cause OMG TOASTED PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES LOOK EXACTLY LIKE RATS INNARDS (probably) I found this on Etsy.
And I was all ‘OMG! Damn Emo! (that is what I call my darling daughter) Get your arse back to that house and pop ALL the meeses! We are gunna be rich!’
$185
minus
$10 for bleaching her feet
$100 for therapy
75 bucks pure profit, baby!
Kelley – who dares you to NOT have that song swirling around your head all damn day.
Do you ever wonder what Bob Saget’s nightmares look like? I’m pretty sure they are filled with haunting twin faces only slightly creepier than those of these dolls.
Look at those eyes. Can’t you almost hear them calling? “Bob…how can you hate us, Bob? You promised you’d come to the premier of our latest straight-to-DVD movie. But you didn’t, Bob. You know our entertainment empire rakes in more money in a single quarter than you’ve made in your entire career, don’t you Bob? You shouldn’t have wronged us. We’ve come for your soul, Bob. Now hold still…”
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When not scouring the interwebz for creepy soul-sucking dolls, Elly Lou rambles at BugginWord.com.
I don’t know about you, but when I leave the house without my Box O’Wine, it’s almost like being naked.
Problem solved !
“Baggy Winecoat gives the popular Bag in Box wines a casual but stylish look! Simply take the wine bag out of the box, place it in the Baggy Wine Coat and close the flexible top.
A rubber bottom makes sure the Baggy Winecoatdo not tip over; neither on the dinner table, nor on the picnic.
If you want to carry your wine with you, just grab the handle and go!”
Now I’ll just have to find somewhere to put my keys.
