Every child learns early on that when it comes to toys, they’re bound to be disappointed. There are just too many awesome things marketed to kids, and unless you’re an Olsen twin chances are you’re not going to get all of them. As a result, every adult (regardless of the generation to which they belong) inevitably winds up with a long list of things they asked for (sometimes over and over) but never got. My list includes a big trampoline, Guess Who?, Skip-It and the Pogo-Ball.
Oh yeah, and Glo-Worms. Remember Glo-Worms?
Weirdest idea for a toy ever (imagine that pitch meeting: “See, Stu, it’s a worm, but it glows…The kids will love hugging it! And we’ll give it kind of a human baby face to make it a little less creepy…”) , but I wanted one so bad. I still remember visiting a friend and discovering that she actually owned two of them, then spending several moments awestruck while I hugged the worn out plushies. I don’t remember which friend it was, or where she lived, or how I happened to be in her house that day, but I do remember the toys.
I also remember how my fluffy bonnet sat primly atop my head, and how my incredibly long vampire fangs poked from between my disproportionately large lips. Thank God I wore my orthopedic nursing shoes, otherwise I never would’ve been able to outrun that mob.
Oh, wait. That wasn’t me. That was this insane doll,
“The vampire princess and her evil baby minion.”
Vampire princess (and her Glo-Worm minion) come to us from lovely Chattanooga, Tn, where residents should be advised to exercise extreme caution when opening their doors to strange knocking at 2 am.
“One morning…about two o’clock a soft knocking sounded upon my door..opening it i saw her…a child vampire and her evil baby minion…
Introducing the vampire princess and her evil baby minion..she is a ooak artdoll…not intended for children, she is hand sculpted with poseable arms and legs…her baby is removeable…her clothing is hand sewn from recycled cloth and her delicate features are hand painted and sealed for durability.”
Sealed for infinite durability, you mean!
But really, this “artist” is just jumping on the bandwagon. No, not the Glo-Worm bandwagon (it’s been 20 years since that train Chattanooga-Choo-Choo’d…). I mean the vampire bandwagon. And while some folks might say that vampire princess is nowhere near the same league as Bella and Sookie, there’s at least one place where she’s got everybody beat.
Just look at the quality of those canines!
Can you imagine how much better everything would be if only we had a little more vampire princess in our lives?
Look out, Milk Toofs, these babies are comin’ for ya!
{source}
Renee still hasn’t seen Twilight.
April 6th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
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April 6th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Oh my gosh, I totally had a glow worm! Never really thought about what a strange toy it was until just this minute… Anyway, this craft? In addition to being strange, it also looks like it was dragged behind a bus for few miles. WTF.
April 7th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
My brother had a glow worm, and I always suspected it of being evil… this just proves it!
.-= Fanboy Wife´s last post ..Gigantic =-.