Sometimes crafters surprise me. When I searched Etsy for Star Trek, I thought I’d find a trove of Twihard-esque Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto love art. Of course, Star Trek is an olllld franchise. It reaches far back into our collective memory, so of course there are so many craftastrophes to work from. And so I present to you: The 16 Worst Star Trek Craftastrophes.
In my searches, I found a popular theme: Star Trek meets animals, in a crossover sort of way. Lt. Kira Meerkat starts us off. In an alternate universe, Bajor is inhabited by teeny tiny adorable meerkats.
She wears a Bajoran Militia uniform in burgundy with contrast textured sleeves and rank insignia on her chest and neck, and an earring which represents her devotion to the prophets.
The Deep Space K9 crew (incongruously featuring the original series characters…allegedly) are “ready to be beamed into your home!”
Features your favorite characters in K-9 form: Mr. Spock the Chihuahua, Captain Kirk the yellow Lab, Uhura the Poodle, and Bones the Jack Russell. So cute in their uniforms! Each badge is accented with a clear Swarovski crystal for out-of-this-world shine. Ready to be beamed to your home!
This is Spock dressed in his being-all-serious-on-the-bridge-of-the-Enterprise outfit.
Oh, and also? He’s a penguin.
Nolark, Scifi Owl
When I think Star Trek, I think Vulcan space squid.
If you’ve had your fill of furry takes on Star Trek, let’s move on to art gone bad.
Revenge is a dish best severd cold & this fun painting is best served on your wall!
…Or maybe it’s best served anywhere else.
Riker. Riker’s strange cabin. Riker’s bare feet. Riker’s axe. I’m too conflicted on where to go with this. I must leave this to you.
There exists a series of “Toulouse LauTrek” paintings. What a fantastic way to bring a classic creator into 2010.
Have your face made into a Borg. Or…a moonface, maybe. If you look closely enough you’ll notice that this Borg has just the right amount of upper lip stubble.
From here, I would like to guide you to the final category of Trektastrophes: What the fuck.
We are Borg. We may be made out of potatoes. We are definitely tiny, and trapped in this tower.
Thankfully, the creator said everything that could be said for me:
The outside of the card features a Robot Spock by the artist Jason Felton. He’s wearing a Santa hat and holding a fruitcake. The front of the card says “Fruitcake is Illogical”.
The inside of the card has a speech bubble with Vulcan Holiday Greetings – It says “Happy Holidays and Live Long and Prosper!”
{Robot Spock in a Santa Hat Source}
Had I a backyard, I would certainly by this chic and stylish birdhouse, which seems to have been dipped in a vile vat of spangles, baubles and rhinestones.
Bonus! It comes with a Scotty doll strapped to the roof where he can have his eyes pecked out by birds and be scorched in the sun.
Spock is a clown. Of course he is. This is what he does on his evenings off: entertains the ship’s children at birthday parties.
You might look at this and see “William Shatner in a fun house mirror.” I look at it and see, “Damn it! I just can’t get his forehead right. Well eff that.”
I am told by the listing details that this is Spock. As a jug. He is created by a man named Randy, but seems to be signed on the back by “Mr. Leroy X”. There are so many mysteries here. But put a bid in today, and you might be the next lucky person who gets to drink a teeny bit of moonshine out of an awkwardly-formed jug depicting a fictional character.
And finally, we come to the piece d’resistance. When you have that special Trekkie in your life who deserves a truly unique gift, you should consider their own communicator badge.
These have been lovingly personalized, and must be cared for gently:
They do not really work without a label or sticker or logo (they will have a sore spot if you remove the name sticker).
I hope you’ve enjoyed this round up of Star Trek craftastrophes. Now that I’ve posted it, I’ve got to get it into an email to my Trekkie husband so he can pick out his next Christmas gift. I’m hoping he goes for the potato-head Borgs. If you want more Trektastrophies, visit Karen’s post from last March.
When she isn’t crying over space animals, Cat Rocketship curates indie crafts for Market Day.
April 6th, 2010 at 9:25 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by craftastrophe and craftastrophe, emilyoftexas. emilyoftexas said: RT @craftastrophe: New… The 16 Worst Star Trek Craftastrophes: Sometimes crafters surprise me. When I searched … http://bit.ly/drWB25 [...]
April 6th, 2010 at 10:45 am
I can’t believe you didn’t comment on Riker’s leg lamp! That’s a major award!!
April 6th, 2010 at 11:28 am
Yeah, my favorite part is the leg lamp, too. I wonder how a frageelay lamp fares travelling at warp speed.
Penguin Spock is a close second.
.-= Norm´s last post ..100 Thing Challenge, week somethingorother =-.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
I can’t believe it. I didn’t even notice the leg lamp. Riker’s bare feet had me distracted.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by craftastrophe: New Craftastrophe! The 16 Worst Star Trek Craftastrophes: Sometimes crafters surprise me. When I searched … http://bit.ly/drWB25…
April 6th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Some people choose to participate in fandoms in really, um, ‘special’ ways.
April 7th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
These were pretty bad, but I did get a kick out of the Toulouse LauTrek work!
.-= Fanboy Wife´s last post ..Gigantic =-.
April 7th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Best. Post. Ever. Hands down.