I was so excited when I came across the thing I planned to blog for my first Craftastrophe post.  It was horrific.  It was gross.  It was the kind of inexplicable mistake that is the definition of this site.

So imagine my surprise when I finally sat down to compose, and out of left field came this thing’s ugly step-sister.  This thing’s ugly, naked, wart-faced, hunch-backed troll of a step-sister, barreling down on me at top speed with seven bloody, sparkly tampons clutched in her fat, waxy talons.

I give you the “Absolutely Genius Tampon Windchimes Essence of Life Windchimes.”

In addition to having a title that just won’t quit, these wind chimes promise to “remind you why being a woman is so wonderful” (because the best part of any woman’s month is when red glitter pours out of her lady bits).

The chimes feature sturdy bamboo craftsmanship, “100% real tampons,” and “[a] vintage jewelry peice…showcasing the essence of woman.”

Apparently, the “essence of woman” is that cheap necklace you wore in third grade until its fake chain started turning your neck green.

Sure, you could pay $15 for plain ol’ bamboo chimes that clink and, you know, chime in the wind–OR you could pay $25 (plus shipping) for these!

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Renee finds more appropriate uses for glitter at The Brisk Blog.

7 Responses to “Absolutely Genius”

1. Stephanie (1 comments.) Says:
   March 9th, 2010 at 1:10 pm

   It would be so much more exciting if glitter poured out of my ladybits! Just think of all the scrapbooking possibilities!
   .-= Stephanie´s last post ..Your Friday Awesome: Rockin’ Granny =-.

2. Elly Lou (BugginWord) (4 comments.) Says:
   March 9th, 2010 at 1:12 pm

   Holy God you win. That thing is hideous. HIDEOUS!
   .-= Elly Lou (BugginWord)´s last post ..Search Optimization-ish =-.

3. G Says:
   March 9th, 2010 at 3:12 pm

   Huh. “Essence of woman” appears to be a penis. Was Freud right?

4. samantha jo campen (6 comments.) Says:
   March 9th, 2010 at 3:31 pm

   All I can think of is the smell.
   .-= samantha jo campen´s last post ..Parent: 1 Child: 0 =-.

5. Lynn (1 comments.) Says:
   March 9th, 2010 at 9:35 pm

   OMG! That thing is unbelievable!

6. Kel Says:
   March 10th, 2010 at 9:12 am

   My only question is WHY???

7. Anke (41 comments.) Says:
   March 11th, 2010 at 12:50 pm

   That’s bloody ugly. Well, maybe Edward Cullen would love it – with all the glitter?
   .-= Anke´s last post ..Regenmacher selbst gemacht =-.