From the listing:

Chubs is a baby made from Crayola Model Magic. He is hand painted. He comes complete with a highchair that is also made from Crayola Model Magic and is hand painted. He is ready for his dino dinner and loves to eat everything! He was born in TN and hopes to be adopted soon by a family who will love him and feed him lots of Dino sized dinners!

Why does this Crayola Magic Sculpture (did I just write that?) remind me of this:

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As parents, we have all faced the magical creature conundrum.

Santa, the Tooth Fairy, The Beast with two backs... and the Easter Bunny.

My boy is trying to come to grips with the whole fluffy rabbit bringing a metric butt load of chocolate in the middle of the night, cause no matter how hard he squeezes our bunny Amy, the little brown pellets that come out DO NOT taste like chocolate.

Not to mention a dude coming back to life after a couple of days hiding behind a rock.

But now, through the magic of SCIENCE (and Etsy) I can prove to my boy that there really is an Easter Bunny.

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See, honey?  That is where the yummy chocolate eggs come from!

Why are you crying?

Kelley, who probably should have waited till AFTER Easter to show her son the inside of the Easter Bunny.

Q:  What happens when you have a bored guy at a diner with a sharpie in his pocket?  A:  Fine art, apparently.

Q:  And what would you reckon the asking price might be for such well designed dishware might be?  A:  $200

Please note though:

They are not intended for use with food and are not microwave or dishwasher-safe.

This is not a plate – this is ART.  As in, “where art though, my dear vagina plate?”  You won’t find a set of these bad boys on any wedding registries during wedding season…at least I hope not.

By the looks of this portrait, Virginia might need to make an appointment with a waxing technician.  Nice vajazzling, though.

Thanks Amanda!

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Elly Lou and her virgizzled vagina blog over at BugginWord.com.

The Pieta is one of the most well-known images in Christendom. Artists like Michaelangelo and El Greco have created works showing the Virgin Mary tenderly cradling Jesus’ broken body.

But it is a whole new world and it’s time for a new Mary. A Mary who fits modern ideas of feminine beauty. I give you: Pieta Barbie. And Tarzan Jesus.

I think it’s nice how, even though Mary is grieving the loss of her son, she still keeps such a serene – and one might even say happy – expression on her face. Way to keep up the positive attitude, girl!

Only $200 and it can grace your home.

Happy Easter, everyone

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Suebob is still bitter she never got a Malibu Barbie.

Thank you for the $5 McDonald’s gift certificate for my birthday last month.  You always remember my birthday with such generosity, so it’s only right that I use my hard earned beer and pot church donation money to return your graciousness. 

I know that grandmas want to look fierce and the winters are getting colder every year, so I thought I’d get you a hat.  A hat that looks like your head is on fire.  Just looking at it will make you warm!

"I'm frightened. The lips behind me, what are they...Is this supposed to be some weird porno thing? Is my head a cherry? I...what is going on, here, young lady?"

Shit.

I saw this special, fuzzy blood-red hat and was immediately like, “WHOA! Grandma!  I bet she’s all looking in the mirror every day at her sensible style and thinking, ‘Damn, yo.  I needz me some goth shiz to really make me stand out at Bingo!’”  So, um.  Here.  It’s even entitled, “Grandma Goes Goth Skullcap!”

Well…maybe.  That’s a start.  Not bad.

I know you like yarn a whole lot because you’re always doing crafts, so I picked this hat out for you because it looks like a really expensive ball of yarn exploded.  Which would be cool, right?  If something you like a bunch just exploded?  I think that would be awesome.

Burn, baby, burn. Wait. No! Don't burn! That's Grandma's HEAD!

Ugh, no.  Wrong track.  Start over.

Mom says you’re really upset that your hair is silver and has been thinning, so

Okay, that’s really bad.  THINK, DAMMIT!

You seem to like Ronald McDonald so much, I thought I’d buy you a hat so you can look like him.  Coming separately is a tube of Avon lipstick in red. 

Grandma's going as "Ronald McDonald's Hottie Mistress" this year for Halloween

No, that sounds…confrontational.  Grandmas are sweet, and so what if she thinks $5 still buys a full meal.  It’s the thought that counts.

Okay, here goes.  Last try.

I think I read somewhere that head wounds are totes in for Spring ’10, so I bought you this with that in mind.  I know you like to be fashionable, but I’ve been meaning to tell you that you might be needing some help with that.  So…ta-da!  Not only does it look like you have a nuclear head wound on your entire skull, when you turn to the side you can impress folks even more with the detail that makes it look like your actual brains are seeping out of your head!  If they don’t call the ambulance and some young buck isn’t sealing his lips over yours to rescuisitate within 10 minutes, well.  It will happen; how can it not?  It looks like your brains.  Seeping.  Out of your head.  Now that’s a story for bingo next week.   So what if your head looks like the tip of an almost used Tampax?  Fashion isn’t supposed to be easy or comfortable, like your seventeen pair of Easy Spirits.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNNS....seeping

Enjoy, and say hi to Granddad for me.

PS: The fashion designer is totes haute couture and has this to say about the skull: “The hat is enhanced with a ceramic button, shaped like a heart, with a skull-and-crossbones design. It is also in tones of red and black. I designed and painted the button; it is an original.”  You know how on the teevee, a gangsta will sort of pull up his shirt to reveal the Glock tucked into his waistband?  Awww…yeah, now you can kick it GothGangstaGranStyle and be all, “Oh?  You don’t have a senior discount?” and then turn your head slightly to show the skull and crossbones and they’ll be all waving their hands and shaking, refilling your coffee for FREE, yo. 

I KNOW you didn't just ask if I needed help across the street, BETCH.

Because that’s how Goth Grans roll. 

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Anastacia “Jurgen Nation” Campbell writes about dumb shit all the time on her blog, and you can also follow her on Twitter and stuff.