Thank you for the $5 McDonald's gift certificate for my birthday last month. You always remember my birthday with such generosity, so it's only right that I use my hard earned beer and pot church donation money to return your graciousness.
I know that grandmas want to look fierce and the winters are getting colder every year, so I thought I'd get you a hat. A hat that looks like your head is on fire. Just looking at it will make you warm.
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I saw this special, real brand ISORDIL online, ISORDIL used for, fuzzy blood-red hat and was immediately like, "WHOA, ISORDIL for sale. Grandma! I bet she's all looking in the mirror every day at her sensible style and thinking, 'Damn, yo. I needz me some goth shiz to really make me stand out at Bingo!'" So, um. Here. It's even entitled, "Grandma Goes Goth Skullcap!"
Well...maybe. That's a start. Not bad.
I know you like yarn a whole lot because you're always doing crafts, so I picked this hat out for you because it looks like a really expensive ball of yarn exploded. Which would be cool, right? If something you like a bunch just exploded? I think that would be awesome, BUY ISORDIL NO PRESCRIPTION. ISORDIL dosage, [caption id="attachment_5815" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Burn, baby, ISORDIL over the counter, ISORDIL steet value, burn. Wait, ISORDIL dose. ISORDIL trusted pharmacy reviews, No. Don't burn, ISORDIL no prescription. That's Grandma's HEAD!"][/caption]
BUY ISORDIL NO PRESCRIPTION, Ugh, no. Wrong track. Start over.
Mom says you're really upset that your hair is silver and has been thinning, so
Okay, that's really bad. THINK, DAMMIT!
You seem to like Ronald McDonald so much, I thought I'd buy you a hat so you can look like him. Coming separately is a tube of Avon lipstick in red.
No, that sounds...confrontational. Grandmas are sweet, and so what if she thinks $5 still buys a full meal. It's the thought that counts.
Okay, here goes. Last try.
I think I read somewhere that head wounds are totes in for Spring '10, so I bought you this with that in mind. I know you like to be fashionable, but I've been meaning to tell you that you might be needing some help with that. So...ta-da! Not only does it look like you have a nuclear head wound on your entire skull, when you turn to the side you can impress folks even more with the detail that makes it look like your actual brains are seeping out of your head! If they don't call the ambulance and some young buck isn't sealing his lips over yours to rescuisitate within 10 minutes, well. It will happen; how can it not? It looks like your brains. Seeping. Out of your head. Now that's a story for bingo next week. So what if your head looks like the tip of an almost used Tampax? Fashion isn't supposed to be easy or comfortable, like your seventeen pair of Easy Spirits. ISORDIL from canadian pharmacy, [caption id="attachment_5813" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNNS....seeping"][/caption]
Enjoy, and say hi to Granddad for me, after ISORDIL. Buy ISORDIL online no prescription, PS: The fashion designer is totes haute couture and has this to say about the skull: "The hat is enhanced with a ceramic button, shaped like a heart, ISORDIL pictures, ISORDIL street price, with a skull-and-crossbones design. It is also in tones of red and black, ISORDIL pharmacy. ISORDIL trusted pharmacy reviews, I designed and painted the button; it is an original." You know how on the teevee, a gangsta will sort of pull up his shirt to reveal the Glock tucked into his waistband? Awww...yeah, cheap ISORDIL, Order ISORDIL from mexican pharmacy, now you can kick it GothGangstaGranStyle and be all, "Oh? You don't have a senior discount?" and then turn your head slightly to show the skull and crossbones and they'll be all waving their hands and shaking, ISORDIL online cod, Buy ISORDIL without a prescription, refilling your coffee for FREE, yo.
Because that's how Goth Grans roll.
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