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Spending too much time on your knees?

Me thinks you put the knee pads on the wrong side, Sweetie!

il fullxfull.103717147 Spending too much time on your knees?

leggings Spending too much time on your knees?

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on November 30, 2009
Guaranteed Not to Improve Your Report Card |
{ 8 Comments }

Happy Vasectomy!

For the beloved man in your life. The one that inseminated you then sat back and watched as you birthed a watermelon-sized child from your tender pink lady bits.

The one that said he was not going to have that vasectomy and “why don’t you just get your tubes tied instead”.

The one that you threatened to remove his parts all together if he didn’t suck it up and just get it done already.

Um… maybe I’m projecting a little too much.

ANY- way…

Have a happy vasectomy!

vasectomy 1021x1023 Happy Vasectomy!

vasectomy2 Happy Vasectomy!

*If* that story were about me, I may, or may not, consider giving him this beautiful card, with a bag of frozen peas.

From the listing:

This is a handmade card and envelope set featuring an illustration of a the male anatomy from a vintage anatomy book. This card is the perfect gift for the sexy man in your life! Celebrate the magic of reproductive anatomy with this CUNTastic card!

“Cuntastic”? Really? Interesting choice of words… and here I thought we were talking about peen…

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on November 28, 2009
Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, Guaranteed Not to Improve Your Report Card |
{ 2 Comments }

Well This is the Creepiest Fecking Thing I Think I’ve Ever Seen.

147862418 6027049bef m Well This is the Creepiest Fecking Thing I Think Ive Ever Seen.


baby michael jackson

Originally uploaded by dietrich

“mama! mama!”

Reminds me of this episode from Family Guy:
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Posted by Karen Sugarpants on November 27, 2009
You Can Stop Making Crafts Now |
{ 5 Comments }

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, AMERICUS!

turkey bead HAPPY THANKSGIVING, AMERICUS!

I got your turkey right here, betches.  Watch out for the safety pins!

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Posted by Karen Sugarpants on November 26, 2009
Turkey Lurkey! |
{ 2 Comments }

And then I bleached my retinas…

Whether you’ve been to a strip club or not, I’m sure you can imagine what those ladies can do with a stripper pole. All that upper body strength? Leg wrapping techniques?

Uh. Nevermind.

Hey, mommy? What’s on your necklace?!

stripper And then I bleached my retinas...

“Oh, nothing sweetie. It’s just a dancing lady.”

stipper2 And then I bleached my retinas...

A wee little nekkid lady.

stripper4 And then I bleached my retinas...Uhhhhhh. Riiiiiiight.

I’ll contack you right after you clean that stripper pole. It’s a little too authentic for me.

stripper3 And then I bleached my retinas...

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Posted by sam {temptingmama} on November 25, 2009
Jewelry Not Found in Great Aunt Mary's Vanity, Lady Bits and Pieces |
{ 7 Comments }

Paying For Therapy

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The Toddlerpede doll sculpture (left) was created by Jon Beinart.




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