About a week ago, one of my best friends bought me an iPhone for my birthday. Yes, she is amazing and I love her, but Sam is insane insanely jealous and I’m not allowed to write emails to Sam from my iPhone because she says:
Don’t reply to me on that iPhone ever again. It’s like rubbing it my face each time.
(*snicker*)
((but not really. I’m totally serious.))
(((it makes me soooo jealous.)))
((((and make me think that you’re mean.))))
(((((and RUDE)))))
Yeah, well I don’t want to hurt Sam’s delicate feelings so DO NOT tell her about this post. Ever. (Course I will admit to replying to that very email with “Not sent from my iPhone” because I’m a brat.)
ANYWAY.
One of our favorite readers, Hannah, was cruising for a case for her new iPhone. (yes Sam, EVERYONE has one but you, even that douchebag Hannah.) Sorry Hannah but I know Sam well enough that she is saying right now if she is reading this that you’re a douchebag for having an iPhone. I’m sure you’re not a douchebag.
So Douchebag Hannah came across this, which I’m pretty sure was plucked from the bottom of the ocean, all sharp and definitely something that would cut your foot open when you’re chasing waves in Mexico, half-cut on mojitos. Mmmmm mojitos.
I can guarantee that case was originally bought at the dollar store and I’d be willing to bet all that hideous bling was too. So for all that plastic crap that was Made in China, you can bet you’re getting TOTAL VALUE at $75. When are people going to stop buying crap at the dollar store?
Thanks Hannah!
{source}
This post was written with my iPhone. SUCKIT SAM. 
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
God… The horror. THE HORROR!!!
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Gawd. It’s like Barbie puked up after a wild night out on the town….will people never learn to just PUT DOWN THE HOT GLUE GUN and THINK?!
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September 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 am
Man, that bear looks mightily embarrassed at being a part of this monstrosity. He’s like, “God, of all the places I could’ve been glued by the ass, WHY THIS? WHYYYY?”
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September 3rd, 2009 at 6:54 am
LMFAO. You made me cry.
Y’all are douchebags. Seriously.
(Okay, not too serious, because that’s just mean.)
((And I’m not mean because I’m not an iPhone braggart like all y’all
even though I desperately want to be.))(((Yes, I know all y’all ain’t proper grammar. So #suckit.)))
((((My husband is an iPhone Nazi and I have resorted to doing everything I can to get in his good graces – like eat at Burger King.))))
(((((Okay, not everything. There’s just some things I refuse to do.)))))
((((((Those jut happen to be the things that would likely get me my iPhone.))))))
And if I had an iPhone it would totally be a toss up between that case or the bacon one.
Dammit, now I want it more. *sigh*
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September 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
If I had an iphone I would buy that horrendous thing just because I could. And because it would drive yinz crazy.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:15 am
Don’t worry Sam. I don’t have an iPhone. You can come cry at my house if you want. LOL
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 am
I bet beads regularly fall off that thing like it’s shedding, just too ridiculous! This makes the bedazzled-ish ones look tasteful.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:20 am
I ‘ll buy you one sam haha, how much is an iphone again? $3?
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:58 am
Um. I kind of love that.
Shut UP.
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Ha! I love this! I am going to the dollar store, then giving my 7yr old daughter some glue and let her go to town. At $75 a pop we are going to make a fortune. Shhh, just don’t tell anyone, child labor laws. LOL!
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September 3rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
The little skull really sells it for me.
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September 4th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
eeewwww! lol! I have no iphone either and I guess I’m weird because I don’t really care!
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September 4th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
I dont have an iPhone. I am poor.
Buuuut if I did…. and I perchance ended up with this monstrosity, I am pretty sure I’d be finding cheap beads at the bottom of my purse for years…
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September 12th, 2009 at 6:53 am
bedazzling made it think hahaha, I think it works as a protection for your iPhone.
Sam don’t worry, i’ll buy you two! haha
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