That's what they called me in Grade 6, before braces: Bucky the Wonder Horse. I didn't have buck teeth, but my overbite would have made some backhoes jealous.
When our favorite reader Bindi sent in these "Cubed Seaflowers," I was immediately thrust back to pre-pubescent times of kids teasing me in school, and me drooling in my sleep like a geriatric baboon. Then I thought of the subsequent exercise whereby the orthodontist pried my mouth open like a giant clam, froze my jaw, and ripped out two teeth (because I had too many teeth yanno, like a HORSE). He then took a mold of my fangs, wired my mouth like a ham radio and then slapped headgear around my head in 6 places and told me my social life was "over for 5 years. Sorry kid."
Thanks for the memories, Bindi.
Five years went by, slowly, painfully (literally I had to go back every month and have those f*ckers tightened with the orthodontist's knee in my chest to hold me down.) and at the end, when Dr. Wratchet ripped every piece of tin from my maw, he was left with a pile not unlike this:
And that's how the story goes of How Karen Sugarpants Got To Be SO VERY Pretty. Prettier than Backpacking Dad
Cubed Seaflowers. *snort*
Whatever, Crafter. You can stop making crafts now.
Posted by Karen Sugarpants on September 4, 2009 @ 9:53 pm