The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned Things

moloch-1 From the listing:
Moloch started his Life as an 11 inch all vinyl, bald, brightly orange-colored child's toy. He now thinks he is The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned Things.
Oh he does, does he?  It looks more like some dude defaced the poor thing until it looked as though it had been mauled by a pack of wolves.  That hair makes Barbie look authentic.  What IS that?  Soul Glo? You know, however badass Moloch thinks he is, the fact remains that he still has that baby doll grin: moloch-2 Which, coupled with the subtle come hither finger and the chest baring linen robe, totally spells GIGOLO.  Horned things, indeed.  Moloch honey, you look like you haven't slept in weeks, and is that...Herpes on those lips?  Let me get you on a Visine & Valtrex treatment of sorts. Thanks GirlShawn....for the greebily nightmares! {source}
Posted by Karen Sugarpants on June 14, 2009 @ 8:10 pm  

9 Responses to “The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned Things”

  1. flutter (62 comments.) Says:

    that thing will set you on fire. WITH ITS MIND.
    [rq=12594,0,blog][/rq]No. Effing. Whey.

  2. Noadi (10 comments.) Says:

    If the maker had just gone for forehead ridges instead of horns they could have tapped into the Star Trek market. I bet some trekkies would buy a baby Klingon.

  3. iasa (7 comments.) Says:

    It’s like a mutant satyr and Khan had a baby.
    [rq=12719,0,blog][/rq]Anyone Got Any Calgon?

  4. Justine (22 comments.) Says:

    Right, so that made me yell. Loudly. Now I know what to do if I ever get asked to make a “dolly” for someone though.

  5. steen (22 comments.) Says:

    I kind of want to sneak into somebody’s room and hang this from their ceiling right over their bed.
    [rq=14134,0,blog][/rq]Opinions Are Like…

  6. LaRu Says:

    I should buy one for my mother-in-law. She could always use another doll for the collection. If I wrap it in a baby blankey she might not even notice the horns.

  7. kdaniel Says:

    Visine and valtrex bahaha that is scary as hell.

  8. GirlShawn (1 comments.) Says:

    You’re welcome.

    That thing scares the crap outta me, too.

  9. loulou (1 comments.) Says:

    Freekin hilarious! I just showed my 12 year old – made her cry!

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