Prevent Bruising While Keeping Your Apples Cozy and Warm *rolls eyes*

apple-jacket Someone once sent in this very thing when was on one of those obnoxious shopping blogs and laughed then. I guess it would prevent bruising if you threw an apple in your purse or bag, but then, so would a lot of other things that don't cost $11. Paper towel? Facecloth? Maxi pad? LOLZ I'M KIDDING DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME I WAS UP MOST OF THE NIGHT WITH A SICK KID AND SUBSEQUENTLY HAVE NO BRAIN TODAY. {apple cozy source} If the apple cozy isn't Craftastic enough for you, let me know what you think of the Barf Scarf by the same crafter: barf-scarf
Its vomit you can wear! On one of my many trips to the local craft store, I noticed this little skien of yarn sitting all alone. I picked it up, and my little brother (who had come along) remarked "Eww, it looks like barf." And I must say, I agree with him. I ended up purchasing the yarn since the idea of making a 'barf scarf' was just too fun to pass up. This puke-tastic scarf was lovingly crocheted using an orangey blended yarn that contains not one, but two strands strands of yarn which were twisted together. One strand is a fun-fur-esque yarn, while the other has random multicolored bits of fur scattered along it. Chunky vomit is the best!
After the night I had, I'm seriously considering buying everything in this woman's shop if she agrees to stop making crafts now. Like, NOW. p.s. Dear Crafter, WTF is a SCARFLETTE? You are on CRACK. scarflette Thanks Heather!
Posted by Karen Sugarpants on April 3, 2009 @ 8:52 am  

7 Responses to “Prevent Bruising While Keeping Your Apples Cozy and Warm *rolls eyes*”

  1. Kristen Says:

    Scarflettes, apparently, are “all the rage” now. I’ve seen a bunch of people selling them.

    Kind of like, the convenience of a cozy scarf keeping our neck warm without the irritating extra lengths dipping into your morning cup o’ joe.

    Still can’t decide if I like them or not.

  2. sam {temptingmama} (164 comments.) Says:

    The apple cozy is cute… BUT…. Um what about that HUGE chunk that DOESN’T have protection? That’s about a quarter of an apple there. Poor planning crafter. Poor. Planning.

    LOL at the maxi pad. I can just picture a kid pulling out his apple at lunch with a mazi pad (stick side down, of course) attached to the apple. ROFL

  3. Deb on the Rocks (61 comments.) Says:

    Y’all, the Scarflette is a well known transgender accessory to hide the wearer’s ADAM’s APPLE, which probably is what inspired the apple cozy, sort of an overcompensating COVER ALL THE APPLES COVER ALL THE APPLES! Except that explanation doesn’t explain the barf scarf, but NOTHING is going to explain the barf scarf.

    Deb on the Rocks’s last blog post..Desperately Seeking Madonna for My Mama

  4. candace trew camling (134 comments.) Says:

    i can feel my neck getting itchy looking at the scarflette. That doesnt even look like it would feel good. I totally agree with deb on the rocks. coverage of “adams apple.” And the apple cozy… lord.

    candace trew camling’s last blog post..Gestural Figure Drawings

  5. Zandor (75 comments.) Says:

    The scarflette does not look comfortable. And the apple cover? Not very covering.

    Zandor’s last blog post..22 years.. Eek. That’s weird.

  6. Becky Says:

    Alright! I admit that I sell “scarflettes” and they sell extremely well. But mine are not multicolor in cheap acrylic yarn and they’re about five times LONGER than this one and [surprise!] they really do keep your neck warm because I wear them myself. This, however, doesn’t qualify as a scarflette. It’s more like a teeny neck cuff and I’ve discovered that neck cuffs don’t have any practical use other than they make you look like you’re trying to hide the fact that you have a huge adam’s apple.

    And speaking of apples: I’d rather stick my knitting needles in my eye than knit an apple cosy. Cute? Perhaps. Useless? Unfortunately, yes.

  7. epiphenita (6 comments.) Says:

    I LOVE the barf scarf description. Anyone who can market their crap with that much tongue-in-cheek is okay by me.

    The apple cozy and scarflette look totally lame…but a good description might save them, too.

    epiphenita’s last blog post..back by popular demand: the easter menu

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