Sometimes babies are pretty damn ugly.
Except for mine because they are both the most gorgeous children you will ever lay eyes on. Totally serious.
And you’re not quite sure to say when you meet an ugly baby right? It’s hard to conceal the fear and disgust on your face sometimes when that wee ugly child comes into your periph.
Periph, as in peripheral vision, is totally a Dane Cook thing, and if you don’t know Dane Cook consider yourself dead to me.
Just kidding. Not you. I love you.
No. Not you either.
Of course, not you!
Where was I? Oh, right. Ugly babies.
But yours isn’t ugly. You have a cute baby.
So ya. Some ugly babies scare the bejeesus out of me.
And why is that the parents with the ugliest babies are all about pushing their “cuteness” on us unsuspecting people who fear ugly babies? Those parents are always the ones that would make something like Baby Head Salsa Bowls of their child’s profile to keep them forever.
DAAAMN. Right?
A bird body. With a baby head.
This could only be better if it were in reverse.
Then! I could call him a bird brain. Get it?! Bird. Brain.
Wait! That could work this way too I guess. Maybe. Sorta.
So when you see an ugly baby, smile; because no ugly baby is as ugly as baby headed birds.
An in an effort for full disclosure. I’ve asked for this for Mother’s Day. I sh*t you not.
I’m thinking I might place it on my desk at work… or right at my front door.
You so know that Jenny, The Bloggess is going to swoop in and take this away from me.
Thanks Alana!
{source}
April 30th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I think it’s hilarious that this is on backorder.
Joie’s last blog post..Thoughts From The Gym
April 30th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
This was so funny… Thanks for the great post… And also I do have the cutest babies in the world. But don’t we all think that?? LOL =-)
Jodee’s last blog post..My house is clean….
April 30th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
This would make my sister so sad…her first child was born with anencephaly
Aside from that, it’s friggin’ funny that this item is on backorder!
Karen’s last blog post..O-H-I-O!
sam {temptingmama} (153 comments.) Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’m really sorry to hear that.
And for more disclosure? I totally wasn’t thinking of any child that has any deformities or is physically challenged. I was innocently enough, just thinking about children that aren’t so cute. That’s all.
It’s on backorder because Jenny, The Bloggess scooped in and got it before I did. ROFL.
Karen (24 comments.) Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
No worries
I’m with ya on what you wrote. Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode…Ya gotta see the (ugly) baaaybeeee.
Karen’s last blog post..O-H-I-O!
Jenny (2 comments.) Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
It’s breathtaking!
April 30th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I would never have thought that something like this exists. Thanks for … um.. well, expanding my horizons.
Faiqa’s last blog post..When I Was A Kid
April 30th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
stumbl’d this, the coolest pipe ever.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I want this so bad! It scares me… but I would plant basil in its head or something.
candace trew camling’s last blog post..Illustration Friday – Theater
April 30th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Why is the babys head empty? For dip?
Oh and my BFF had a baby the other day, ugliest SOB I have ever seen. Looked like a hobbit. But a hobbit that the other hobbits would be all ‘day-um you ug-lee’
Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo’s last blog post..A Hard Act
April 30th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
If you look at the line about Jenny the Bloggess and then read the tags on that item, you just pretty much called her insane.
April 30th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
If you look at the line about Jenny the Bloggess and then read the tags on that item, you just pretty much called her insane. And your blog is broken, it says I already made this comment.
sam {temptingmama} (153 comments.) Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
And I called myself insane as well as the jerk that ordered this bird/babyhead causing it to be on back order so I can’t have it for Mother’s Day. LOL
April 30th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Ok, I had already made that comment. And I called your blog broken. Damn, I’m a bitch. And I’m going to get the creepy baby bird thing just to vex you. Mostly because I like the word vex.
sam {temptingmama} (153 comments.) Reply:
April 30th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I think you may be insane.
followthatdog (48 comments.) Reply:
May 1st, 2009 at 11:28 am
there’s no maybe about that. I accept my insanity as fact.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:41 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24093213
The lamb body/baby head combo is killing me. “Yellow is intense for baby boys.” LOL
May 1st, 2009 at 2:18 pm
This is a salsa bowl? Do you just scoop out the delicious brains of the child then insert your tasty tomatoes?
I am a bit taken a-back by such a gift.
May 1st, 2009 at 2:53 pm
it needs a hole in the tail and a bowl in that hole, or else a whistle in the tail and then it can do those bird calls…
dumb da dumb dumb, STUPID! (that old detective show’s riff)