Let’s say you join a cult.

Find a wife.

She learns to knit.

She gives you two beautiful children.

She makes you wear weird outfits like this horrible nightmare (NSFW/kids).

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All dogs might go to Heaven, but fairies?  Not so much.  Fairies are spiteful little things, often mistaken for spreading joy, they actually carry West Nile and infest people.

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Rosie O’Donnell is on Etsy.

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What do you do when you friend mails you a HUGE box of cicada shells?

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Remember the 10 Handmade Item No One Would Be Caught Dead In?

(except for boyfriends just modeling their girlfriends creations so they could get laid?)

Meet, boyfriend # 11.

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