Groundhog Day, the day of the year where we rip a helpless, fat animal from the confines of its warm and cozy hole only to shake it about in freezing cold to see if the sun radiates off its back.

Sounds like I could be describing something entirely different, doesn’t it?

All for human entertainment we subject these useless fat animals to cameras, lights, screams and jeers from throngs of people who surround them hoping for a prediction of a shorter winter.

If you want to know if winter’s going to be shorter, go stand outside and see if your shadow is visible, works the same, no? Silly human.

Know what I’d love to see?

That stupid man dressed in a tux and top hat that gets attacked by a rabid Cujo-like gopher groundhog.

Then I would wear it in my hair.

{ pendant source }

{ portrait source }

6 Responses to “Aren’t Groundhogs Just Glorified Gophers?”

1. Deb (61 comments.) Says:
   February 2nd, 2009 at 10:05 am

   They are also called Whistle Pigs. It’s like a new product in need of a commercial. The pig that whistles–ask for it by name!

   Deb’s last blog post..Are you Marmot or are you Man?

2. Karen Sugarpants Says:
   February 2nd, 2009 at 10:49 am

   Whenever I hear “groundhog” I think of people that work in office cube farms. I guess because both species pop up when they hear a noise?

3. Taylor Blue (91 comments.) Says:
   February 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 am

   Ughhh to those teeth..they remind me of when a ferret attacked me at the pet store! (Cries)

   Taylor Blue’s last blog post..The ‘Heroes’ Super Bowl 2009 Commercial

4. Jeremy Rivera (12 comments.) Says:
   February 2nd, 2009 at 12:15 pm

   Babe
   I’ve got you, Babe

   So Put your little hand in mine,
   there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb

   Jeremy Rivera’s last blog post..Content Writing Advice, Blogs Vs Brochures

5. Gennaro (4 comments.) Says:
   February 4th, 2009 at 3:40 pm

   Except Punxsutanwney Phil. He’s an icon.

   Gennaro’s last blog post..Things To Do In NYC (For Free)

6. Lotta (64 comments.) Says:
   February 4th, 2009 at 8:13 pm

   I kind of like the rabid necklace. It’s fun to fuck with the “woodland” theme that Etsy is riddled with.