What the listing said:
This hand-made, one of a kind doll is made from a pattern I created myself. Her body is made from hand dyed fabric and her face is painted. She also has embroidered and fabric leaves on her body. Her hair is needle felted into her head (sounds painful but I assure you she felt no pain, just joking!)
What the listing should have said:
This hand-made, one of a kind doll is made from a pattern I created myself while I was high on motor oil & rubbing alcohol. Her body was made from some dirty old shop towels, and she was happy to be dragged behind my trailer as we crossed the border into Mexico when we smuggled those handguns in. She is stuffed with cocaine and cotton and would make a great decoy if you need to get your Stardust past authorities. Just shove your blow into her mouth. No, not that blow. That wouldn’t wash well. Believe me, I tried. No customs agent would want to touch her. I’m quite sure she has herpes. BONUS: Her butt doubles as a pocket for your rolling papers or lighter.
Thanks Candace!
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February 19th, 2009 at 10:09 am
is that green thing on her leg a tattoo?!
fantastic.
below14th’s last blog post..New designs in the shop
February 19th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Ok, that was scary. The face looks like it’s taken a few blows and the nose looks to be leftover from a melted snowman.
Karen’s last blog post..random stuff floating through my mind
February 19th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Is that doll’s mouth an anus? It certainly is one of a kind!
Tracy’s last blog post..Is racism the new n-word?
February 19th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
YOU are wicked funny!!! Thanks for the laugh.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:12 am
If dolls could have leprosy, this one would have it. It looks like it should be rotting away.
February 20th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
That thing is just so damn distressing.
February 20th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I saw an old plushy cat in a cemetery once. it had been left in the weather for what looked to be about ten years. If I had to choose between that anus mouthed monstrosity and the cat, I would most defiantly take the cat…
BTW, what is UP with it’s eyebrows? it looks like he/she drew them on with eyeliner. is he/she seriously trying to sell that?!?!
February 21st, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I’m pretty sure THAT is a sex doll! You know the kind that you would find in an adult novelty store next to a blow-up sheep. Only this sad little sex doll is modeled after a homeless person who will perform favors for gin, or crack or maybe some soup. I bet that’s why she has a loop on the back of her head. So you can hang her upright and just go to town. UGGH! Are her accessories a cardboard box to sleep in and cup for panhandling? It’s just so sad.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:37 am
her mouth is prolapsing! *shudder*
February 24th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
She’s just joking that it didn’t hurt? So she thinks it did hurt? Well, it hurts me! Is there somebody I can sue over this because I’m pretty sure I’ve got PTSD now.
Lanie’s last blog post..Ten Things Tuesday – 10 blogs I love that are not people I know IRL
February 24th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Crackhead Dolls-?-Us
February 24th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
?=R
February 25th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Oh my hell. I’m crying…. the second description is spot on. Just give me a few seconds to pick myself up off the floor. This website cracks me up.