Once in a great while, we sit on a craft, biding our time and waiting until the perfect opportunity to show it to you. You never know when these things will be released from the Top Secret CraftastaVault, but when they do…they are usually Not Safe For Work/Kids.
This is one of those times. Especially if your work has a no Unicorn Vagina rule.
Paper mache is one of those ‘arts’ that ranks right up there with playdoh and finger painting, in my book. For me, that was the 70′s. A time of free love. For the adults, I mean. I was like 5. That’s gross. Shut up.
Artist Chris Wayan says:
This sculpture group was inspired by a dream called Lola {? L. O. L. A. Lola…Lo lo lo lo Lola ?}. In it, I witnessed a secret reunion of long-separated unicorns–transparent ghostly unicorns–that turned into a wild party, and then… a unicorn orgy!
But as I sculpted unicorns, one by one, things went their own way–the ghost orgy turned into a playful group of varied mythical creatures, nothing like the dream.
Still, it started with unicorns. Most things do.
Alas, the Unicorn Orgy. Unicorgy? Uniporn? Nevertheless, it’s here and complete with other characters that are further explained on Chris Wayan’s page.
Ummm…alone these things are even creepier. That tongue looks stabby. From the page:
Here’s a sort of satyr who’s part wolf or coyote intead of part goat… {? Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell… ?}
What he stands for may depend on which end you’re looking at! Maybe he’s just lust incarnate, sticking it into any available mouth…
On the other hand, maybe he represents all the dog boys of this world, whose eager tongues have contributed so much happiness to so many girls (and quite a few boys).
Holy Chris Crocker on a Toadstool! Leave Unicorns Alone!!!
Well I guess that’s better. But what is that sticking out of that one’s butt? A TREE?
Oh it is a tree. And fat labia. Alrighty then.
Oh. That’s where the stabby tongue fits in. Paper Mache is so foreign to me.
(sorry. that picture comparison was for redneck mommy. *snort*)
Are you trying to tell me something little licky fairy? Or is your butt-tree causing you pain?
Wow. Just wow.
*No mythical creatures or hobbits were harmed in the making of this Craftastrophe*
Fanks to my kid brother, Joel for the lead. I’m sending a cheque for therapy.
{source}
January 15th, 2009 at 1:32 am
There are so many questions I have about this “art”.
Like..why? for instance.
I will just stick to my lip balm holder thank you very much!
ocb’s last blog post..Songsmith
January 15th, 2009 at 1:32 am
I don’t….wow.
Erm, well…I don’t…wow.
Uh hrmmm, I don’t…know where to begin.
I am laughing my ass off. I think this may be your best post ever.
Hilly’s last blog post..Take My Hand, Off To Never Never Land…
January 15th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Not sure just what the “artist” was thinking. I mean, say I buy that…um, art. Which room in my house would be most appropriate for the disturbing, um…piece? to be displayed?
followthatdog’s last blog post..Co-op by proxy.
January 15th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Oh. My. God. I hope you’ve got an incredibly heft fund for Joel’s therapy, and that maybe you’ll arrange some counselling for your many readers. I sure as hell need it now!
January 15th, 2009 at 10:23 am
what the hell? this is odd. I do however, love the new unicorgy word!
bluepaintred’s last blog post..Officially Older than Dirt!
January 15th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Well. Alright. That was…something.
I need to go scrub my brain out now.
Miss Thystle’s last blog post..The Wizard
January 15th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I definitely threw up in my mouth. Great post but one of the most foul(no opun intended) things I have ever seen.
Thanks for sharing.
January 15th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I agree..why…but on the other hand..it’s so graphic…that person must have enjoyed researching for this project…
Hmmmm…I am speechless…
Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Supernatural Spoilers Season 4 Episode 13: After School Special
January 15th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face.
Brilliant.
But I think I’ll never tell people I shoot unicorns and fairy dust out my arse ever again. Cuz now that I’ve seen them, it looks, well, rather stabby.
Tanis’s last blog post..What Happens In Canada Stays…Er, is Posted On the Net
January 15th, 2009 at 11:31 am
That is both perverse and the funniest damn thing I’ve seen today.
Uniporn.
Will’s last blog post..How to crash a blogging conference in one easy step
January 15th, 2009 at 11:35 am
I’ve been incredibly disturbed by these images since the first day I saw them. I didn’t think it could be possible to be MORE disturbed… but I truly, truly am.
I WILL have nightmares. I know it.
January 15th, 2009 at 11:46 am
So much better than scrapbooking!
marla’s last blog post..What :30 is it?
January 15th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
[...] A unicorn/satyr orgy [...]
January 15th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I have to say, this is the BEST POST yet. I laughed until I cried, then I cried because it was gross, then I laughed again.
Then I showed my future mother in law, and she laughed until she cried too.
HAHAHA
Sarcastica’s last blog post..Without Regret
January 15th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
This gets my vote for Craftastrophe of the Year. Now, I know 2009 is still young, but I just cannot for the life of me fathom anything more worthy of said title. Hell, I think this should become the new banner image, just for the lulz of it (okay, maybe just Tree Butt).
*head desk*
January 15th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Ladies, you have outdone yourselves.
I don’t think I will EVER recover from today’s Craftastrophe.
Also, I sort of want to cry, and I’m not prone to that sort of thing.
January 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
That’s about the sickest damn thing I’ve ever seen. The freak that made this needs their head examined or an exorcism or something-maybe both. There’s nothing funny about this one at all-including its exposure, which I’m sure they would enjoy.
Jett (8 comments.) Reply:
January 15th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Righteous indignance is only taken seriously if you leave an identity.
Otherwise, we’re gonna have to assume that you’re exaggerating or just kidding. This is the internet and anyone could say ANYthing!
January 15th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
[...] this through Karen Sugarpants, who deleted her old blog but now she writes at Craftastrophe which you should be reading too.) Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 3:19 pm • All This and Culture [...]
January 15th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
So I link to you for all of my Aunt and Uncles and in-laws to see and your lead post is this?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah’s last blog post..Real Quick
January 15th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
This was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen.
So, naturally, I propagated it through twitter and facebook. Post more weird shit like this please … things where you can’t decide whether to laugh, be scarred or just bo bwuh and yet can’t look away.
Swizec’s last blog post..How to induce lucid REM
January 15th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
This is definately the best post ever.
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January 15th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I added unicorgy to urban dictionary. It should be up in a few days I guess. Congrats on an amazing post!
January 16th, 2009 at 10:32 am
And now I’m going to get fired.
Jenny, Bloggess’s last blog post..I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care *what* you do with semen.
January 16th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Oh, hi! This is my first visit here! I HAD to see what was causing the server to crash over at Webster’s. “Unicorgy”? “Uniporn”? I want to see them in the 2010 edition FOR SURE.
Swistle’s last blog post..Hair Dye; Cute Shoes; Giveaway Winner
January 16th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Oh…the horror….the…..humanity. Ooops – wait – that “sculpture has a lot to do with something, but humanity it ain’t. Thankfully.
I’m going to go wash my eyes with soap now. Thanks for sharing the UniLove.
Deb’s last blog post..Candy for the New Economy
January 16th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Apparently someone likes Yiff.
And thank you for the Unborn comparison. It seriously cracks me up. Every time.
Elizabeth Kaylene’s last blog post..Chalk it up to indecision and let’s forget this ever happened
January 16th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I’m sure I speak for a lot of people what I say…
O_O
January 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Your blog is amazing.. I have no idea where you find these things..
January 17th, 2009 at 1:54 am
What the hell is up with that stalk of celery sticking out of that guy’s ass??
January 17th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Just think if the time involved… that’s dedication to UniLove.
January 18th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
There are truly NO WORDS.
January 20th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Oh My God. Those are totally brilliant – this has really given me a big grin to face the day with. Thank you!
January 24th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Oh, I thought these looked familiar. I hadn’t realized this artist has switched to sculpture. He’s been around a LOOOOOOONG time. And is quite prolific.
I know I’ve seen it on the internet. I can’t remember if I’ve seen these in an art show or not. They’re definitely not the worst thing I’ve seen in an art show. The worst was the guy that did photos of people in full leather bondage gear with dog masks. That was so creepy nobody even wanted to go into that corner of the show. I pity the poor artist that had to have his art next to that.
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