Craftastrophe: Not Always Rainbows and Unicorns, But We Try.

Once in a great while, we sit on a craft, biding our time and waiting until the perfect opportunity to show it to you.  You never know when these things will be released from the Top Secret CraftastaVault, but when they do...they are usually Not Safe For Work/Kids. This is one of those times.  Especially if your work has a no Unicorn Vagina rule. Paper mache is one of those 'arts' that ranks right up there with playdoh and finger painting, in my book.  For me, that was the 70's.  A time of free love.  For the adults, I mean.  I was like 5.  That's gross.  Shut up. Artist Chris Wayan says:
This sculpture group was inspired by a dream called Lola {? L. O. L. A. Lola...Lo lo lo lo Lola ?}. In it, I witnessed a secret reunion of long-separated unicorns--transparent ghostly unicorns--that turned into a wild party, and then... a unicorn orgy! But as I sculpted unicorns, one by one, things went their own way--the ghost orgy turned into a playful group of varied mythical creatures, nothing like the dream. Still, it started with unicorns. Most things do.
unicor01 Alas, the Unicorn Orgy.  Unicorgy? Uniporn?  Nevertheless, it's here and complete with other characters that are further explained on Chris Wayan's page. unicor07 Ummm...alone these things are even creepier.  That tongue looks stabby. From the page:
Here's a sort of satyr who's part wolf or coyote intead of part goat...  {? Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell... ?} What he stands for may depend on which end you're looking at! Maybe he's just lust incarnate, sticking it into any available mouth... On the other hand, maybe he represents all the dog boys of this world, whose eager tongues have contributed so much happiness to so many girls (and quite a few boys).
Holy Chris Crocker on a Toadstool! Leave Unicorns Alone!!! unicor08 Well I guess that's better.  But what is that sticking out of that one's butt?  A TREE? unicor13 Oh it is a tree.  And fat labia.  Alrighty then. unicor09 Oh.  That's where the stabby tongue fits in.  Paper Mache is so foreign to me. unicor04

unbornreview(sorry.  that picture comparison was for redneck mommy.  *snort*)

unicor14 Are you trying to tell me something little licky fairy?  Or is your butt-tree causing you pain? unicor181 Wow.  Just wow. *No mythical creatures or hobbits were harmed in the making of this Craftastrophe* Fanks to my kid brother, Joel for the lead.  I'm sending a cheque for therapy. {source}
Posted by Karen Sugarpants on January 15, 2009 @ 1:13 am  

34 Responses to “Craftastrophe: Not Always Rainbows and Unicorns, But We Try.”

  1. ocb (1 comments.) Says:

    There are so many questions I have about this “art”.

    Like..why? for instance.

    I will just stick to my lip balm holder thank you very much!

    ocb’s last blog post..Songsmith

  2. Hilly (12 comments.) Says:

    I don’t….wow.
    Erm, well…I don’t…wow.
    Uh hrmmm, I don’t…know where to begin.

    I am laughing my ass off. I think this may be your best post ever.

    Hilly’s last blog post..Take My Hand, Off To Never Never Land…

  3. followthatdog (27 comments.) Says:

    Not sure just what the “artist” was thinking. I mean, say I buy that…um, art. Which room in my house would be most appropriate for the disturbing, um…piece? to be displayed?

    followthatdog’s last blog post..Co-op by proxy.

  4. Vic (21 comments.) Says:

    Oh. My. God. I hope you’ve got an incredibly heft fund for Joel’s therapy, and that maybe you’ll arrange some counselling for your many readers. I sure as hell need it now!

  5. bluepaintred (25 comments.) Says:

    what the hell? this is odd. I do however, love the new unicorgy word!

    bluepaintred’s last blog post..Officially Older than Dirt!

  6. Miss Thystle (10 comments.) Says:

    Well. Alright. That was…something.

    I need to go scrub my brain out now.

    Miss Thystle’s last blog post..The Wizard

  7. Kelly Says:

    I definitely threw up in my mouth. Great post but one of the most foul(no opun intended) things I have ever seen.
    Thanks for sharing.

  8. Taylor Blue (91 comments.) Says:

    I agree..why…but on the other hand..it’s so graphic…that person must have enjoyed researching for this project…

    Hmmmm…I am speechless…

    Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Supernatural Spoilers Season 4 Episode 13: After School Special

  9. Tanis (4 comments.) Says:

    Laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face.


    But I think I’ll never tell people I shoot unicorns and fairy dust out my arse ever again. Cuz now that I’ve seen them, it looks, well, rather stabby.

    Tanis’s last blog post..What Happens In Canada Stays…Er, is Posted On the Net

  10. Will (1 comments.) Says:

    That is both perverse and the funniest damn thing I’ve seen today.


    Will’s last blog post..How to crash a blogging conference in one easy step

  11. sam {temptingmama} (164 comments.) Says:

    I’ve been incredibly disturbed by these images since the first day I saw them. I didn’t think it could be possible to be MORE disturbed… but I truly, truly am.

    I WILL have nightmares. I know it.

  12. marla (1 comments.) Says:

    So much better than scrapbooking!

    marla’s last blog post..What :30 is it?

  13. Uniporn « crazy dumbsaint of the mind Says:

    [...] A unicorn/satyr orgy [...]

  14. Sarcastica (18 comments.) Says:

    I have to say, this is the BEST POST yet. I laughed until I cried, then I cried because it was gross, then I laughed again.

    Then I showed my future mother in law, and she laughed until she cried too.


    Sarcastica’s last blog post..Without Regret

  15. Chibi Jeebs (10 comments.) Says:

    This gets my vote for Craftastrophe of the Year. Now, I know 2009 is still young, but I just cannot for the life of me fathom anything more worthy of said title. Hell, I think this should become the new banner image, just for the lulz of it (okay, maybe just Tree Butt).

    *head desk*

  16. Jett (8 comments.) Says:

    Ladies, you have outdone yourselves.

    I don’t think I will EVER recover from today’s Craftastrophe.

    Also, I sort of want to cry, and I’m not prone to that sort of thing.

  17. Me Says:

    That’s about the sickest damn thing I’ve ever seen. The freak that made this needs their head examined or an exorcism or something-maybe both. There’s nothing funny about this one at all-including its exposure, which I’m sure they would enjoy.

    Jett (8 comments.) Reply:

    Righteous indignance is only taken seriously if you leave an identity.

    Otherwise, we’re gonna have to assume that you’re exaggerating or just kidding. This is the internet and anyone could say ANYthing!

  18. Sarah and the Goon Squad » Real Quick Says:

    [...] this through Karen Sugarpants, who deleted her old blog but now she writes at Craftastrophe which you should be reading too.) Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 3:19 pm • All This and Culture [...]

  19. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah (14 comments.) Says:

    So I link to you for all of my Aunt and Uncles and in-laws to see and your lead post is this?


    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah’s last blog post..Real Quick

  20. Swizec (8 comments.) Says:

    This was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen.

    So, naturally, I propagated it through twitter and facebook. Post more weird shit like this please … things where you can’t decide whether to laugh, be scarred or just bo bwuh and yet can’t look away.

    Swizec’s last blog post..How to induce lucid REM

  21. zandor (75 comments.) Says:

    This is definately the best post ever.

    zandor’s last blog post..Donating Hair does not equal Donating Blood.

  22. Kit Says:

    I added unicorgy to urban dictionary. It should be up in a few days I guess. Congrats on an amazing post!

  23. Jenny, Bloggess (9 comments.) Says:

    And now I’m going to get fired.

    Jenny, Bloggess’s last blog post..I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care *what* you do with semen.

  24. Swistle (1 comments.) Says:

    Oh, hi! This is my first visit here! I HAD to see what was causing the server to crash over at Webster’s. “Unicorgy”? “Uniporn”? I want to see them in the 2010 edition FOR SURE.

    Swistle’s last blog post..Hair Dye; Cute Shoes; Giveaway Winner

  25. Deb (12 comments.) Says:

    Oh…the horror….the…..humanity. Ooops – wait – that “sculpture has a lot to do with something, but humanity it ain’t. Thankfully.

    I’m going to go wash my eyes with soap now. Thanks for sharing the UniLove.

    Deb’s last blog post..Candy for the New Economy

  26. Elizabeth Kaylene (4 comments.) Says:

    Apparently someone likes Yiff.

    And thank you for the Unborn comparison. It seriously cracks me up. Every time.

    Elizabeth Kaylene’s last blog post..Chalk it up to indecision and let’s forget this ever happened

  27. C lo Says:

    I’m sure I speak for a lot of people what I say…


  28. Riko Says:

    Your blog is amazing.. I have no idea where you find these things..

  29. Lotta (64 comments.) Says:

    What the hell is up with that stalk of celery sticking out of that guy’s ass??

  30. aka Jenna Says:

    Just think if the time involved… that’s dedication to UniLove.

  31. velocibadgergirl (57 comments.) Says:

    There are truly NO WORDS.

  32. DorsetGirl (1 comments.) Says:

    Oh My God. Those are totally brilliant – this has really given me a big grin to face the day with. Thank you!

  33. Fenris (5 comments.) Says:

    Oh, I thought these looked familiar. I hadn’t realized this artist has switched to sculpture. He’s been around a LOOOOOOONG time. And is quite prolific.

    I know I’ve seen it on the internet. I can’t remember if I’ve seen these in an art show or not. They’re definitely not the worst thing I’ve seen in an art show. The worst was the guy that did photos of people in full leather bondage gear with dog masks. That was so creepy nobody even wanted to go into that corner of the show. I pity the poor artist that had to have his art next to that.

    Fenris’s last blog post..World’s Worst Flasher- cute ferret sculpture

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