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19

Ann Coulter Birthing Doll

I remember our Sexual Education classes were nothing but fits of giggles and ewwwww’s as the teacher attempted to enlighten our frail and horny prepubescent minds of sex, menses.

HA! I put mensa first. That’s the top part of an alter, just so you know. Which I didn’t, but my trusty friend Answers.com told me so. Speaking of menses, go to Answers.com and type in “cooter” and listen to the man say the word. But be careful, it’s highly addictive to put swear words in there and have him repeat them back.

I love the voice man on Answers.com. Seriously.

He’s like, almost as fabulous as the voice over dude that does movie previews.

Okay, more. More fabulous.

So sex. Sex Ed. Fun. Giggles. Ha, ha.

Had I been given a project like “Create a doll that’s giving birth, with a baby crowning, and have it as anatomically correct as possible” I don’t think even at 27 would I have been a parent to two young boys.

baby birth Ann Coulter Birthing Doll

Aw.. she had a baby! A little flash of nipple and she’s even wearing earrings. Bless her heart.

But, that’s not the best worst scariest most anatomically correct part….

Brace yourself…

Oh, and it’s NOT safe for children or work. ESPECIALLY if you work with children.

Unless those children are prepubescent teenagers; then you can show it to them if you like. It’s your job that might be lost, not mine.

But Ann Coulter would be happy that you’re teaching children not to be horny single mothers who are leeching off society because you single mothers? “…You can blame yourselves for “almost all” of (America’s) society’s ills. You and your “illegitimate” kids.” Says Ann Coulter.

baby birth2 Ann Coulter Birthing Doll

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!

I couldn’t hep but laugh at the kid’s arm hanging out… like he’s waving.

Yo, Ma! Get me outta this hole!

She is anatomically correct, as is her newborn son!
Her embellishments include a wedding ring, earrings and necklace and her son has a tiny belly button, made with a real button to which the umbilical cord attaches.

Good news, she’s married! This birthing doll ain’t no hussy.

I think I’ll buy one for Ann Coulter.

{ source }

Thanks to Rowena for sending us this one!

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posted in: Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, Doctor Dement-O, Funnier Than a Shart in a Spacesuit, Guaranteed Not to Improve Your Report Card, Knitting Nightmare by sam {temptingmama}

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19 Responses to “Ann Coulter Birthing Doll”

  1. Sheila (1 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 12:55 am

    Wow. Just… wow.

    Sheila’s last blog post..Wrong Number

  2. bluepaintred (17 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:00 am

    Wow, that’s one lady garden that needs some pruning! Do bushes really get that…floofy.. if you don’t shave/trim?

    bluepaintred’s last blog post..Oh Hia!

  3. Frank says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Wow. You americans and your crazy phobia for natural biological reproductive functions.

    This really wouldn’t raise an eyebrow over here in Sweden.

    And I have to say, a bit of a misleading title there… “Ann Coulter Birthing Doll”? Whoever that is apparently had nothing at all to do with it other than your rant about giving one to her. Oh well, I guess on a small blog you need to do whatever you can to rile up some readers and keep the comments flowing, huh?

    That’s too bad. This stumble gets a thumbs down from me, for irrelevant ranting.

    Karen Sugarpants Reply:
    January 8th, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Frank, we’re Canadian. And we kicked your ass at the World Juniors. Also irrelevant, but your comment kinda made me laugh.

    GO IKEA!

    p.s. Your goalie should be in the Olympics for diving.

    p.p.s. My p.s. was irrelevant too.

  4. Miss Ann Thrope says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:24 am

    This is the kind of stuff that gives crocheting a bad name.

  5. Summer (1 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Why? Seriously, just why?

  6. bluepaintred (17 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:37 am

    Oooooohhhh! *sombody* has a crush on Annie!

    In other news, I found that the fact that the doll had a wedding ring on because OMG lets never teach about unwed mothers, and the vile hatred AC spewed about single mothers, fit hand in hand

  7. Lotta (11 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:51 am

    Sweet jesus. Where’s the crocheted epidural line?

    Lotta’s last blog post..Sheer Purple Drop Earrings

  8. Lotta (11 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:51 am

    And the pubic hair! Such attention to detail!

    Lotta’s last blog post..Sheer Purple Drop Earrings

  9. Mr Lady (11 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 2:06 am

    Idiot knit birthing doll doesn’t even know that laying flat to push is SOOOO 1980’s.

    I want to see her knit epidural coming out of her knit spine in her knit birthing pool while her knit esthetician waxes that knit fro down her knit below.

    Mr Lady’s last blog post..On Red, The Seeing Thereof, Etc.

  10. velocibadgergirl (54 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 2:22 am

    I love you craftastrophe ladies very much, but sometimes I just have to turn away from this site before my brain gives up and dribbles out my ears.

  11. Assertagirl (1 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 8:23 am

    So much…HAIR on everyone. Everywhere. Too funny!

  12. Taylor Blue (67 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Wow..a wedding ring..why does that point need to be made? There are a lot of women not married that have children and shouldn’t be ashamed. (Me being one of them shouldn’t matter right?? LOL)

    And that hair!! I bet the doctor that would help that girl have that baby would get poked in the eye by that much hair!!!

    Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Loving the Commentary on ABC Family’s Greek

  13. Kathy says:
    January 8, 2009 at 11:24 am

    And the creator of this monstrosity is selling the pattern for it so you can make your very own version… Scarier still, somebody actually bought the pattern!

  14. Sarcastica (15 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    I’ve got to say, this doll is awesome. Maybe if I had one a couple months ago, I wouldn’t be contributing to the downfall of society :)

    Sarcastica’s last blog post..Being bored shitless makes for nice random posts

  15. zandor (74 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    That is kind of awesome. I wonder how many people actually wanted to buy the pattern.

    zandor’s last blog post..You need help.

  16. Mrs. Flinger (1 comments.) says:
    January 8, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Holy christ on a cracker. HAHAHAHA. It’s something we really should hand out at high schools everywhere.

    Here in ANERICA.

    Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..2009- Songs for Hope, Change, and Renewal

  17. Lotta (11 comments.) says:
    January 10, 2009 at 1:03 am

    Sugarpants – “Go Ikea” – You slay me. You also need to read The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore. If only to read about the zombies that want to go to an Ikea.

    Lotta’s last blog post..Little Scottie Vintage Figural Button Pin

  18. Me says:
    January 15, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    I don’t know what’s more stupid name of the title of this post or the doll itself. It’s a toss up. Ann C. What the hell?

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