Sarah wasn't happy when Daddy ran away with his hairdresser, Steve. Worse yet, Mom re-married this total freak who loved to carve his likeness
from soap and leave it in her bathroom.
Sarah's mom and Soapstoner had a baby soon after they married and so they never had time for Sarah. Sarah began spending more time in her room and creating things that made her feel better.
Here is their story.
Pay no attention to the sweet paw prints on my Bambi-soft flannel onesie. YOU WILL OBEY ME OR I WILL SUCK YOUR SOUL OUT WITH MY DEMON SOUL AND WE WILL BE ONE SOUL. SOUL SOUL SOUL.
Stop staring at my bellybutton. It's a goat's tail, I KNOW. These safety pins are killing me. Which is why I'm wrapped in gauze. Also, you, with the blue paint brush? You missed a spot. Why don't you just go cut yourself, Emo kid? You suck at crafts. I could do crafts better and I'm a shiny blue doll. With fingers that are FUSED TOGETHER. FAIL.
Somebody's been watching Star Wars, eh? WHILE TRIPPING. I'm like a robo-R2D2-Frankenbat-baby holding a black C3PO. Racist. And if I'm supposed to be so bad ass, why is it I have a bell and a ribbon on my dress? It's to throw you off from my coke nail, huh? Somebody lube up my bat-wings, they're feeling so dry. And get Obama on the phone. We need drug prevention in Connecticut. These emo teens are an epidemic. Where's Oprah? She should do a show on this crazy b*tch.
Posted by Karen Sugarpants on November 11, 2008 @ 1:51 pm