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9

Not Your Grandma’s Cross Stitching

My grandma is BIG into cross stitching. I remember just about every picture in her home being of a Hungarian cross stitch theme. The living room, the dining room, they were everywhere. The stereotypical grandma cross stitching: flowers, vases with flowers, people, people with flowers.

Did I mention flowers? Because I think there may have been a couple with flowers.

This? This does NOT have flowers.

cross stitch cens Not Your Grandmas Cross Stitching

Maybe a tree stump. But not a flower.

cross stitch Not Your Grandmas Cross Stitching

Would it be wrong to sneak this pattern into Grandma’s stash?

Naughty but nice! This pattern creates a lot of hot and botheredness, it seems! I’ve previewed it among my peers and it gets a hearty thumbs up!

Stitching this would definitely heat things up!

Sorry, have I lost you? I find that happens too!!

This lickable pattern is 192 stitches wide by 145 stitches high. And this highly likable pattern is now in a kit! The finished project will measure 10 5/8 inches by 8 inches when stitched on 18 count aida that is provided in this kit. I’ve also simplified this pattern so there are only 21 colors in this kit.

Some thoughtful pervert person put a lot of effort into this kit for you Grandma. You better not complain.

And Grandma? I hope this is on the dining room wall at Christmas. I’ll be very disappointed if it’s not.

Love you Grandma!

Now get to work.

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posted in: Disturbing Things We Should Never Own, For The Insane, Penis Paraphernalia, Stuff You Should Hang On Your Wall by sam {temptingmama}

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9 Responses to “Not Your Grandma’s Cross Stitching”

  1. iflyrc0 or Pops_The_Ole_Man_of_the_Net (11 comments.) says:
    November 23, 2008 at 9:15 am

    Could you imagine some clueless granny sitting in the doctor’s office working on her ‘perfect’ piece only to discover what she was really working on?

    Note to the Canadian Ménage à trois – how about a comment feed?

    iflyrc0 or Pops_The_Ole_Man_of_the_Net’s last blog post..WW #30

  2. PZR says:
    November 23, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    I gave up counted cross stitch years ago (anyone want a sampler?), but I may have to rethink my decision.

  3. Betsy (1 comments.) says:
    November 23, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Sure, it says it’s 145 stitches high, but I bet it’s more like 122 on a good day.

    Betsy’s last blog post..BetsyHV: Anticipating another weekend of Sanrio.com click and read-aloud duty. Stunned to discover that Dokidoki Yummychums have been discontinued.

  4. Vic (15 comments.) says:
    November 24, 2008 at 6:06 am

    I’m very tempted to get that for my mum for christmas – it would add a whole new dimension to the cross stitch masterpieces she’s made and framed for the wall! lol

    Vic’s last blog post..The Own-Up Challenge

  5. Velma (17 comments.) says:
    November 24, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Both of my parents cross stitch, but I think I’ll pass on the gift idea, thanks.

    Velma’s last blog post..It’s All About Me

  6. Taylor Blue (67 comments.) says:
    November 24, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    I bet you grandma could get all hot and bothered cross stitching that.. LOL

    Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Zac Efron Can Pump Gas And Still Stay Sexy

  7. Zandor (74 comments.) says:
    November 24, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    That’s just…. Wow.

    Zandor’s last blog post..Finally cutting my hair.

  8. Ant (6 comments.) says:
    November 25, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    “Whatcha doing?”

    “Cross stitch”

    “Oooh, can I see?”

    “Sure!”

    “oh.”

    Ant’s last blog post..Porcelain Lace Platter

  9. Lori Anderson (4 comments.) says:
    December 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    I want to know who the model is!

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