Irony, Personified

Oh the irony is almost painful.

Where can I buy a dress that says "I {heart} Vintage Old Crap That's Freakin' Old.... Seriously OLD, Give Me That Junk"? (When I read that out loud to myself it sounds like so seriously horrible sex talk. Like Give it to me baby, Oh! Ya! That's it. But infinitely worse.) (I have no idea how I concluded that even remotely resembled sex talk. I think I must need to get laid.) I can't look away from its face. I've been drawn into the wonky eyes and crazy ass teeth. There's something about her closely spaced bulging eyes that speak to me. Wanna know what they say? I'll tell you. They say: Can you believe this crap? Can you freakin' believe THIS crap? I'm holding a sign that says "TAKE absolutely NO CRAP ever" yet I am utter (HA HA HA Utter) crap? The irony, so painful it makes my right arm bulge and gives me hives. Hives that discolour my neck and left side of my body. Make fun of me and I'll donkey kick you with my incredibly small feet. Then I'll yell at you See You Next Tuesday. I will YELL it in your general direction as I flip you off with my jelly like arm. That, my friends is what those lazy eyes and horse-like teeth whisper to me. Is it even possible to have TWO lazy eyes? Because this chick? Totally does.
Posted by sam {temptingmama} on November 11, 2008 @ 4:45 pm  

2 Responses to “Irony, Personified”

  1. Miss (21 comments.) Says:

    It looks like she has a shiner. I’m assuming someone punched her for wearing that dress.

    Miss’s last blog post..What’s it called when you pimp yourself?

  2. Karen Sugarpants Says:

    It’s Britney Spears.

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