Mr. Lady sent this one in.
Let me just say that I freakin’ LOVE this chick and was nearly crying reading her explanation of this craft.
(I *may* have just been cutting onions and rubbed my eyes causing them to tear up a little.)
So I’ll just let her say it:
Every year, our family has a big White Elephant Christmas. There are rules. No one brings other gifts for anyone but the children, no one may bring a gift for the White Elephant over a $10 value, and the gift you do bring is better suited being used, re-gifted, or pretty damn offensive. Examples of hit gifts of years’ past include:
- Porn
- Gift cards to closed video stores
- Socks with holes in them
- Half drunk bottles of wine
- Toilet bowl seats (this was the most highly sought after gift in the history of our family’s Christmas)
One year, our dear aunt brought a crafted animal-thing that a friend had lovingly made for her, by hand, spending hours on it. Dear Auntie never could quite figure out just what it was, exactly. Someone took it home that year, and the next year, they’d brought it back, only they’d altered it slightly. And by slightly, I mean they’d sewn jingle bell testicles onto what we could only guess where the creature’s nether-regions. I took it home that year, and gave it facial hair and tattoos. It is now THE White Elephant gift, the one you love to hate, the one you forget about every year until people start fighting over who gets to take it home.
And yet, no one could ever figure out what is was, precisely. The rumour was circulating that perhaps it was some sort of unfortunate cat, but the jury was still out. It was THAT horrible. And then, one year, I took an innocent picture of it with it’s winner, and upon reviewing the photo, it all became shockingly, awesomely clear. It wasn’t a cat, at all. Some sweet little old lady sewed that.
I bet she’s a hit at the nursing home.
Here I was staring at the photo thinking: What do you mean that’s not a cat? It’s a cat. I know it’s a cat. My stepmom used to have one just like it. Ugly as sin and used to be a door stop. Why is she saying it’s not a cat? I’m so confused.
Then I LOOKED at the picture.
HAHAHA pee pee with a ruffle!
(I so need a hobby)
November 21st, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I’m glad you liked it.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
November 21st, 2008 at 7:12 pm
PS: The button it’s wearing? says “Pleasing you pleases me.”
Yeah, awesome.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
November 22nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
That is like totally the bestest.
Zandor’s last blog post..Why i’m done listening to you: