I don’t know what would possess a woman to pick up her dog’s turds, arrange them in such a manner, photograph them, make t-shirts from the images, and sell them online.
I’m going to go with mental illness for $400, Alex. From the listing:
Yeah, yeah, she’s been pestering for that really expensive neck piece, bling-a-roo, diamonds, gemstones, WHAT-the-fuck-EVER! Blah! Like you’ve got the time OR money! And It’s doubtful she’s going to stop nagging you!
Well, gents, here’s the solution! This matching pair of Mother & Daughter shirts. You know that little she-brat is going to grow up just like her momma so you might as well get the set.
The old bag gets one in a medium size 50/50 poly-cotton Jerzees brand while the kid gets a Hanes 100% cotton toddler size 2/3 . They are both white to really show off the shit you shut them up with.
I have painstakingly created the design by photographing my little dog’s turds and arranging them with a computer picture program. And believe you me, I am very selective with what crap is used. The colors are amazing and quite varied, just like real gems in nature.
warning…images below the jump are rather disgusting.
Edited to add: Freaky Old Woman has commented below – thank GOD that is chocolate icing all over her. Still she insists her designs are popular and that she has sold lots. I’m starting to love her. Here’s her shop.
{i’d say thanks to suebob for finding this, but i really wish she hadn’t. I’m going to shower now.}
November 13th, 2008 at 11:39 am
EH MAH GAH This is beyond words. Someone has a serious fetcal fetish. I thought Mr. Hanky on South Park was bad enough … in fact I thought no one could exceed that measure of grossness. But the Scat Lady has achieved success.
Iris’s last blog post..Prop8 or Prop-hate?
November 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
IN my defense, I just saw the t-shirt photos (which were enough to put me over the edge) and didn’t read the text – that makes it even weirder!
November 13th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
That’s just wrong on SO many levels…
But it does give me the opportunity to quote Bart Simpson; “It’s craptacular.”
November 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
[vomits.]
November 13th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
WTF? I can’t stop gagging.
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..A Riddle For You
November 13th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Someones got issues. :S
November 17th, 2008 at 1:21 am
Oh come on, it’s humor! She’s a fun, sassy woman who can find humor in even….dog poop. Seriously, who doesn’t think poop is funny? She’s wearing gloves!
November 17th, 2008 at 1:22 am
This woman is clearly a misunderstood genius. Her work should look familiar to you, as your head is clearly lodged firmly in your own posterior.
Bravo, mighty poopsmith, Bravo.
UglyGerbil’s last blog post..Green Chartreuse Cthulhu Babies Key Chain or Backpack Buddy
November 17th, 2008 at 1:22 am
It takes genius to know genius.
And to let you all know who don’t get it…:
Yes, I am making a lot of money with the designs, and they are copyrighted.
Dawn’s last blog post..MATURE Abominable Snowman Holiday Card
November 17th, 2008 at 1:33 am
The woman who designs these T-shirts has actually sold A LOT of them, and not just online, but offline too. It’s meant to be humorous, and it’s brilliant humor. I applaud her.
Jen’s last blog post..Ponytail Holder/Scrunchie for Girls – Snowy White
November 17th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Yes, she’s totally batshit (or dogshit?) crazy, but I also can tell you that she’s a great lady to know and is nothing if not entertaining.
Jen’s last blog post..Fuzzy Brimmed Hat in Red – Free US Shipping
November 17th, 2008 at 2:13 am
That’s some funny shit. The turd in the middle looks like it may have popped a ass blister though. Better get the dogs bunghole checked out.
Deb’s last blog post..Crochet Turtle Kitchen Scrubbies (Set of 2) FREE SHIPPING (U.S.)
November 17th, 2008 at 10:08 am
The people leaving mean comments are obviously not artists and do not appreciate art in any sense of the word. The shirts are funny and meant to be that way. Some of you take things way too seriously and should have better things to do with your time than post thing like this. You’re all just jealous you didn’t think of it yourself.
November 17th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Everybody poops. Get over it.
November 17th, 2008 at 10:36 am
*at least she can laugh all the way to the bank!
(and her dog is just adorable)
*besides, anyone who can sell a hairball from the sink drain on ebay for over a hundred dollars, not only has my vote for ‘genius’, but my best-intended laughter!
November 17th, 2008 at 10:42 am
AWE! Thanks fart2fart! I love you guys!
FOW’s last blog post..MATURE Abominable Snowman Holiday Card
November 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Come on people it’s just poop, and funny as hell.
I can’t beleive nobody has posted a link to this etsy shop yet, go, theres more goodness in the store: http://freakyoldwoman.etsy.com
November 17th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Come on, people! Unclench! It’s meant to be funny and it is!
hollygems’s last blog post..Simplicity Set
November 17th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I’m totally unclenched…I thought Freaky Old Woman WAS funny. That’s why she’s featured here! I’m also grateful to find out that she is covered in chocolate icing in her picture!
Glad you guys could join us over here – this site is meant to be satirical, funny, light headed…er light hearted..so relax – have fun – enjoy!
If you want to be featured, email us with your freaky deaky crafts: http://craftastrophe.net/contact/
November 17th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Yay Karen Sugarpants!
It is funny to see other people’s reactions to what I make. I get funny looks all the time when I wear my crappy necklace shirt around town! Thanks for the feature, and my sleep masks too!
FreakyOldWoman, aka FOW
FOW’s last blog post..MATURE Abominable Snowman Holiday Card
November 17th, 2008 at 11:39 am
It’s hilarious….
I actually had a friend REQUEST a “Mr Pooh” plushie… so I made one for her. and then: I was getting requests for “mr. POoh” plushies by the boatload. Hugely popular.
It’s been awhile, I should make a few more of them and post them soon.
Thanks Freaky! I’ve been inspired to get some plushies made in time for the holidays.
trinlayk’s last blog post..Lady Murasaki Wisteria lacy scarf
November 18th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Crap sells!
FOW’s last blog post..MATURE Abominable Snowman Holiday Card
November 18th, 2008 at 10:57 am
We love our Freaky Old Woman!
November 18th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Absolutely wonderful!
Such imagination! So it’s not kitten’s or unicorn’s. There’s enough of that stuff around everywhere. Somedays, you just wanna wear your shit shirt.
I got one…do you?
November 20th, 2008 at 10:22 am
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