I think I have a phobia of stuffed animals. Not awwww stuffed animals, but ewwwwww stuffed animals. Stores like um. Bass Pro Shop with all the taxidermy just hanging around. Taxidermy here, taxidermy there, taxidermy EVERYWHERE! It’s like a small village filled with beady little eyes staring, judging.
Why did you let them do this to me? they scream at me. Scream. Like a high pitched dog whistle only some freaks people can hear. I am one of those freaks people.
So if you see me with a terrified look on my face, searching – SEARCHING! – for a way out of a room/store/house it’s because there’s likely a dead animal hunting me down with their all knowing eyes.
So do me a favour? If I’m coming to visit? Please remove that freaky mad opossum from the side table. Please take down that eerie sad looking decapitated buck head because he makes my stomach want to turn inside out and run from my body. Via – my mouth.
(That’s vomit peeps.)
Instead, you could replace it with this. You know – so there isn’t a big empty space where a poor defenseless animal’s DECAPITATED head once was adorning your wall.
Disclaimer: I really have nothing against hunting and being proud of your catch (hunt?) but I do, however take issue with a DECAPITATED animal head staring me down.
Scratch that. I take issue with any DECAPITATED head staring me down.
Oh. And I think PETA Are a bunch of nuts. Squirrelly enraged nuts.
November 11th, 2008 at 2:07 am
Call me a bit dodgy but I seriously love that supreme craftswerkship. I want one, no, seven.
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November 11th, 2008 at 2:25 am
If it comes with a red nose, I’m in …..
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November 11th, 2008 at 4:55 am
WHAT? You didn’t like PETA’S Sea Kitties story???? I for one would rather my child ate FISH that read that horror.
OMG am I gonna get hate mail now?
November 11th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
funny. funny. funny.
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